


I can't fix this

by Feenaa



Series: Can't fix this [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Epilipsy, Hurt Harry, M/M, Married Couple, Medical Conditions, Police Officer Louis Tomlinson, Sad Louis Tomlinson, Teacher Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:14:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22568419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feenaa/pseuds/Feenaa
Summary: Louis was addicted to his work that he sometimes forgets he is married.Harry was his partner and one day he realised he had enoughWhen things took a different route, how can Louis save everything? Maybe he just can’t.English isn't my first language
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Series: Can't fix this [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1630237
Comments: 32
Kudos: 64





	1. Chapter 1

It was a large dark room, it was quite and there was barely light. Although it was still the morning but he never opened the curtains, he says dark helps him focus.

It was his office. He took the fairest room in the house and he converted it to his office where he used to spend days and night there alone with his papers reading them over and over again afraid that he might missed something.

Harry always told him that he spent moat of his time in this room, he always told him it wasn’t healthy room and he refused to spent more than ten minutes maximum in it with him they he says he can’t breath and leave him alone.

Louis was sitting on his desk, and papers were everywhere, literally everywhere. On the desk, on the floor, on the wall. He was drawn in papers and he was trying his best to keep his eyes opened. He cannot sleep, he shouldn’t sleep, he doesn’t trust what might happen if he slept.

He was looking at the file in front of him and he was watching the photographs again, maybe it was his hundreds time that he was doing it but he must do it, he must find out how he kissed it, he must know what went wrong.

The door was opened and harry entered, calmer than usual, wearing his long black coat, letting his curls to fall all over his face. He just walked in and sat right in front of Louis watching him.

Louis didn’t move, didn’t even look up, instead he kept his eyes examining and scanning the papers in front of him

“ you should stop” Harry finally said

Louis closed his eyes, he knew that was coming but he ignored harry

“ it’s not going to change anything”

“please, shut up” Louis whispered

Harry was still looking at him “ you are killing yourself here, please “

Then Louis snapped looking finally at him “ I said shut up”

Then harry didn’t talk again, Louis looked at him and then his eyes filled with tears

“ it’s not your fault” Harry said softly, he was looking at him with sympathy.

Louis fixed his gaze at him for a few seconds then he looked down again at his papers and when he lift his head few minutes later Harry was gone leaving him to himself again.

*****  
Louis parked his car in front of his house, he checked his watch again and he knew he was late, as usual. But he knew this time Harry is going to be sad and maybe angry. He promised him he will be there, he promised him this time will be different and he won’t miss it too.  
But again Louis never kept his promise, he was always away busy with his work, but harry was always understanding but maybe not this time.

Louis opened the door and everything was silent from inside, so harry was asleep, maybe that as better. He put the keys at the table beside the door and he took off his coat and put it in its place.  
Then he walked to the kitchen eat anything, he was famished.

But once he entered he saw him, Harry was there on his laptop wearing his reading glasses and he was ignoring Louis.

Louis sighed before walking to the fridge saying “ hello Harry”

Harry didn’t answer, didn’t even look at him.  
Louis opened the fridge and he saw a small packet inside, he knew Anne must prepared it for him, so he shyly took it and opened it, the food looked delicious and he knew it was a good birthday party.

He sat in front of Harry and he looked at him “ I am so sorry Harry, I know you are upset”

Again harry ignored  
“ I was coming I swear, but I got stuck. You know how my work is. It’s very demanding”

Nothing, not even a blink

Louis sighed and he left his seat and stood beside him “ i am really sorry, please.. Say something “

Harry finally looked down and said “ I don’t care”

Louis sat on his knee and he took Harry’s hand in his, but he felt it was shaking and the he looked at Harry’s face and he looked very exhausted and pale, and he now he can see the big bruise on his right temple. Louis lifted Harry’s chin by his fingers and he could have a better look “ what happened? “

Harry didn’t answer

Louis said again nervously this time “ Harry, what is this? “  
Harry pulled his hand away and he left his seat heading out of the kitchen to his bed room, Louis followed running behind him “ Harry.. Answer me. What happened? Who hurt you? “

Harry was in his bedroom now, he stopped walking and looked at Louis “ no one hurt me”  
It was when Louis guessed what really happened, he took a deep breath and said “ when? “  
Harry didn’t answer, Louis walked closer looking again at his blue bruise while Harry was looking down“ did it happen there? Cause no one called me”  
Harry finally shook his head “ no, it happened here”  
And Louis cursed under his breath, he hated when his fits happen when he is alone  
Louis looked at Harry’s eyes “ was it bad? “  
Harry chuckled “ do you even care? “  
Louis “ Harry.. “  
But Harry gave him his back and entered the bathroom and he opened the faucet. Louis saw him washing his teeth and then he headed to his bed.  
But Louis didn’t leave he was still watching him  
When Harry was on his bed he said “ you owe Gemma an apology. And all your sisters too”

Louis was still looking at him crossing his arms, he then sighed “ have you taken your medicines?  
“he asked ignoring what harry just said  
Harry didn’t answer, he just lied down and covered himself  
Louis walked closer “Harry..it happened last week twice. And even the week before. And now this week too. Wait a minute, did it happen before this week? “

Harry again ignored and that was making Louis more angry  
He huffed “ would you put your childish attitude aside for a few second and be an adult”

It was when Harry jumped up from his bed “ are you fucking being serious? “ he yelled

“ I know you are mad at me but this-“ Louis yelled back but Harry interrupted “ mad? Hell no.. I am angry Louis. I am very angry. You promised. I called you this morning and you said.. You promised you will be there”  
“I got stuck at work” Louis yelled

“I needed you” Harry yelled back “ I needed you to be there. I needed to feel that I am important too. That you still care”

Louis frowned “ of course I care Harry, you are making it a big deal”

Harry stopped talking looked down then he took a deep breath “ I had enough”  
“what? “  
“I had enough “ he said again “ I am alone. I am always alone. And you know I can’t be alone”  
“I am here. You are not alone”  
Harry looked at him “ you are barely here Louis. I can barely see you, you are married to your work not to me. Fuck I can’t do this anymore “  
Louis’s heartbeats were accelerating, they fight, they fight a lot but he never heard harry spelling these words, he never seen Harry’s face that way before  
“ do what? “  
Harry “I am done pretending Louis. I don’t want to pretend that everything is alright while it’s really not”  
Louis sighed “it’s just a birthday “  
Harry shook his head in disbelief “it’s not about the birthday louis”

And Louis knew. If course it was nit about the birthday, but Harry was really in a bad place. Louis was always not there and he was always busy. He knew one day Harry will lose it.

“ they called you this week twice from my school Louis. You never picked up”

Louis remembered, but he was very busy running in the streets trying to catch some criminals with Zayn.  
“ I was.. “

“busy? Yeah I know. But I needed you. I had two fits this week, adding this one then they would be three. I even went to hospital. I tried to call you six times Louis but you never picked up”

Louis was still looking at him shockingly, he remembered those six missed calls but he forgot his phone in the office that day.

Harry looked down “ I have to do a surgery”

Louis gasped, Harry shrugged “ there is something wrong and they don’t know why”

“Harry? “ he whispered

“ I wanted you to come with me after the birthday.. I had to talk to my doctor to choose the day”

“you are not having a surgery “ Louis said trying to breath

But harry ignored “ it will be next Thursday. I am going to mom at this weekend and I will stay with her till the surgery. It’s not like you are having some time for me” 

Next Thursday that means seven days from now.

Louis looked down unable to speak or even to breath  
Harry took a deep breath and then he looked at Louis “ it’s not fair”

Louis looked at him and Harry was crying, Harry said “ I deserve better Louis. I need better than this. I need you” then he wiped his tears “ I am freaking out by myself and I can’t stop thinking of you”

Louis was going to walk to him but Harry stepped back and then he said “ I think you should sleep at the couch this night”

And he walked to his bed again, and he lied there covering himself but Louis didn’t miss how his body was shaking and he knew Harry was crying.

Louis left the room and closed the light and the door behind him. He rested his head in the closed door and he also cried. He cried harder not because of what happened this morning, but because he was scared, he was scared of this day and he never expected it to be that soon.

When he first k ow about Harry’s epilepsy six years ago, Harry told him when things get worse he will do a surgery, so this means that things are worse now and he had no idea. He hated himself for this, he remembered promising Harry that night that he will be there, no matter what. But it was another promise to not keep. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so happy you like it. Thanks for the kudos and comments
> 
> I have to tell you the journey is long, this is the only first book, there are other three
> 
> I posted it before but I deleted all my works so here I am. I chose to post this series. Hope you enjoy

Louis was in his office in the stayion, papers were folded in front of him on his desk, Zayn was talking to him, Liam was talking to him,but he wasn’t listening.

“ come on, Louis, support me on this” Liam said  
Then both Zayn and Liam looked at him waiting, his eyes were fixed on the papers but his mind was fixed in some different place

“ Louis... Tommo are you okay? “ Zayn asked

Louis snapped his head at him “ what? “

Liam and Zayn shared a silent conversation with their eyes before Liam asking “ are you alright? “

Louis looked at the papers again and he simply nodded

Zayn “ you don’t look alright mate, what is going on? Is harry okay? “

Louis shook his head not meeting their eyes

“ what’s the problem? “ Liam asked with concerns  
Louis looked at his friends and he saw all the worries filling their eyes “ he must have a surgery”

“what? “ they both asked in union

Louis sighed and explained “ his medicines obviously making things worse or something.. His fits are more violent and more frequent.. “ then he looked between them “ it’s a brain surgery and it’s very critical and I can’t even be with him now because I am stuck finding that fucking idiot” Louis huffed while saying the last words

Liam said softly “ I am so sorry man. How is he doing? “

Louis shrugged “he hates me” Liam frowned, Louis “ I am not always there... I am not there at all. Two days ago he had a fit and he fell from the stairs at home. He has a large bruise on his face, He was alone and he was panicking.. And I wasn’t there. Damn it I hate it when it comes to this"

Zayn “ you can have a break Louis. You know.. some days off. When is the surgery? “

“next week”

“good, you can take some break you need it, until he is at least out of danger”

Louis shook his head and rubbed his eyes with fingers and huffed “ I can’t. I can’t just sleep and knowing that that bastard is free and still killing innocent people. I just can’t “

“and you can’t leave him alone too” Liam said

Louis shrugged “ he is not alone. He is going to his mom”

Zayn shook his head in disbelief “ God Louis, and you are letting him do this”

Louis snapped his head to Louis, obviously he didn’t like what he herd. He knew how close Zayn and Harry were and he knew how protective Zayn liked to be which bothered Louis all the time

“ do I have any other options? “

Zayn also was getting annoyed “ actually you do. Take some days off, watch your husband, stay with him. He is a having a major surgery Louis. Do you know how much scared he is right now”

Louis snapped “oh and you are the expert”

Zayn groaned “ god Louis.. This is not about me. It is me telling you not to waste what you still have”

“ oh fuck off” Louis said standing up

“ enough” Liam said louder and they both stop talking.

Liam looked between them “ it happens every time.. Every time. And every time I tell myself one day they will grow up and stop these stupid fights”

Zayn said “ it’s not a fight. I am trying to put some sanity in his mind. It is his husband for God sake”

Again Louis was fuming “ oh is he? I didn’t know that”

“ oh so you know? Then maybe you should start acting like that” Zayn said

“ how dare you? “ Louis yelled

But Liam yelled back “ shut up. Both of you. We are here for work. Other than that I think everyone should keep his mouth shut and mind his own business “

Louis yelled at Liam “ well, tell him that”

The he stormed outside the office  
****

Louis parked his car in front of his house. He was supposed to take Harry to his mom two hours ago. Harry didn’t call him and Louis figured he was still upset, they hadn’t talked ever since the last fight but this morning Louis begged him not to drive and told him he will be here at the time to take him.

Louis wanted to be here at time. But at the last minute they had a false information at the station about the serial killer position, and they had to rush to the scene bug there was no one and Louis was furious as usual and he threw a fit.

When Louis saw Harry’s car he was thankful, at least harry was still here and not driving. But that only mean one thing, another fight with him.

Once Louis opened the door he didn’t her anything, he called Harry’s name, but Harry didn’t answer. Louis sighed and he put the key on the table and moved inside. But once he walked inside the house he heard thrashing sounds and he knew what was going on, he called Harry again but more louder and more alert and he ran inside

On the floor in front of the kitchen Harry was thrashing violently, Louis ran to his side immediately while taking off his jacket, he looked at Harry’s face and he saw his eyes were opened but dead and it hurt, but Louis had to act fast, he put his jacket under Harry’s head to protect him. And he put his hand softly on Harry’s chest, he knew it was wrong to touch or restrain harry during his seizure but it’s something he can’t really stop himself, every time Harry has his seizure while Louis is around Louis put his hand on Harry’s chest right on his heart so he know it’s still beating.

Louis looked it his watch, it’s digital one. he remembered when he bought it he insisted it should be digital so he can’t lost count the length of the seizure.

Although Louis wasn’t here when it started but he hoped that it just started. And he hoped for the best.   
It always hurt, no matter how many times he saw Harry shaking this way, it always hurt and it always makes him feel weak and useless.

Louis was looking between harry and his watch and right now he realised he hasn’t seen Harry having one since long time ago, three months to be specific and it really angered him. He was crying and he didn’t notice that until his vision got blurred so he wiped his eyes in his shoulder and again he looked at harry and at the watch, Louis smelled the urine odour and he knew what just happened, it always happens when Harry have his Tonic-clonic seizures. It’s one type of seizures Harry has. This type is the worst it started with his stiffness of his body that he might fall down like an ice block, then few seconds later all his body started to shake violently, it always started with a twitch in his hands followed by a suffocated scream then all his body shakes, then he lose control of his bladder like now and some times if he isn’t lucky he bite his tongue that it bleeds and finally he loses his consciousness.

Three minutes and it was on its way to the fourth minute, okay he started to panic now he didn’t know when did it started and if it lasted longer than five minutes then mean something bad. Harry started to drool and Louis focused on Harry’s chest to check his breathing, it was laboured but he was still breathing.

Harry’s body started to calm a little and harry finally closed his eyes. He fainted.

Louis wiated till all the twitches are over and he slowly lifted Harry’s head and he opened his mouth. He hated this part very much where harry is out like dead. Louis slowly raised his left hand and put it on his right shoulder. And then he raised his left leg and put it beside his right leg and flipped Harry’s body to his right. Drools started to fall rapidly from Harry’s mouth and Louis hastily wiped it away by his shirt. He then started to rub Harry’s back soflty

“ come on baby, come back.. “ he started

Harry didn’t move or opened his eyes, Louis rubbed Harry’s cheek and he said whispering in his ear

“ come on love, you can do it. You are okay.. I am here okay. You will be fine”

Harry didn’t open his eyes but Louis noticed his hand started to twitch again he startled and raised his body and looked again at Harry’s body and it happened again. His hand twitched till the elbow and what was going on?

He knew what was going on, he was having another seizure. It didn’t take long and harry started to convulse again, Louis panicked he knew it was bad, it was the worst. He stayed looking at Harry helplessly. He had seen this before it was five years ago and Harry had to spent two days at the hospital after those seizures.

Louis lost track of time, he was lost in his thoughts and he was panicking beside Harry. That was wrong, he should keep calm so he can help harry. Then he noticed that Harry’s chest wasn’t moving, he wasn’t breathing. It was when Louis picked his mobile from his pocket and dialled 999

He told them the emergency and he told them his husband can’t stop seizing and he was unconscious, he told them he wasn’t breathing.

Harry stopped shaking and he was still unconscious, but he was breathing now, Louis stayed by him encouraging him to wake up batting his back over and over again. Then he felt some movements happening at his door, so he left harry to open the door.  
Louis showed them the way, and he watched while they were helping harry and he answered the questions he was asked. He could barely know the answers anyway. 

The trip to the hospital was hard, he knew Harry hated hospital and he knew he hated all about his disease.   
He was with him in the ambulance when Harry started to regain his awareness

“ lou? “ it was the first word he said.

Louis looked at him softly and he exchanged the place with the medic so he can face harry directly, they were supporting his neck so harry could barely see Louis. 

Louis held Harry’s hand

“ I am here baby, you are okay”

Harry rolled his eyes to see Louis “ what happened? “   
he was panicking

Louis patted his shoulder “ it’s okay baby, you had a bad seizure and then you had another one, you weren’t waking up so I called an ambulance “

Louis saw tears falling down Harry’s face “where am I? “ he said weakly and he was confused Louis looked at the medic beside him who smiled sadly at him while still measuring Harry’s vitals.

Louis looked back at harry “ you are safe baby.. I am here”

“sleepy” Harry said while closing his eyes

“it’s okay, love sleep” Louis said trying to sound strong  
“ stay” harry asked but Louis could not answer that, his voice would betray him, he knew that

“lou? “ Harry asked again

“ I am here, baby” he said with a shaky voice “I am not leaving”

******  
Louis was waiting in front of Harry’s room, doctors told him he was okay, out of danger and gained his full awareness now. They told him he took a big hit on his head that’s why he didn’t gain his conscious easily, they told him it wasn’t also a serious situation to have two seizures at one time but they said he was okay now and his doctor was coming to discuss the surgery with them again.

Louis called Anne and told her what happened, he called Liam too and told him he would be late he didn’t tell him what happened, he just told him he was going to be late. He didn’t want to leave harry at the hospital, but he had too. He felt they were too close from catching the serial killer and he couldn’t stop now.

Louis finally took a deep breath and opened the door. Harry was lying on the big hospital bed, closing his eyes and he looked more relaxed than before. Louis took a few steps inside and it was when Harry opened his eyes and looked towards him.

Louis smiled while Harry tried to, Louis walked and sat beside him on bed

“ how do you feel darling, the doctors say you are better”

Harry nodded with his pale face “ I feel better”

Louis smiled and with his thump he moved Harry’s curl from his face and tucked it behind his ear “ you look better”

Harry just nodded and didn’t comment, he lowered his face and he looked at his lap

“ why are you sad? “ Harry is always sad after his seizures

He shrugged “ I feel stupid”

Louis frowned, he didn’t like to see Harry this way this vulnerable and weak.

Louis held Harry’s hand and he printed a soft kiss on his hand “ don’t ever say this, Harry you are the most strongest person I have ever seen I hope you know that”

Harry just shook his head and wiped his tears with his other hand “ I am sick of this”

Louis nodded “ I know, but this surgery is.. We hope it fixes this” he doesn't know what the surgery will do exactly, he hasn't talked to Harry about it yet.

Harry took a deep breath and didn’t talk  
“ I called your mom” Louis said

Harry nodded, then he looked at him “ for how long I will stay here? “

Louis smiled “ you can leave tomorrow morning.. Your doctor is coming to discuss with us the surgery “

“again? “ Harry frowned

Louis didn’t understand what did he mean he just nodded and stayed silent. Then the door was knocked and opened and Anne was here.

She looked at them and then she walked to her son and hugged him tightly then she hugged Louis.

“how are you feeling? “ she asked

“I am better, can’t remember what happened of course but I feel okay”

She smiled and sat at the chair beside him

Harry looked at Louis “ were you there this time? “

Louis was shocked, Harry didn’t mean it this way, he asked casually but it hurt, this time?

Louis looked at Anne by the corner of his eyes, she was looking at him expecting an answer she really wanted

“ not at the start. I came when you were in the middle of it”

Harry nodded and looked down again, he was disappointed and his face couldn’t hide it.

Anne cleared her voice and said “ the doctors say you will leave tomorrow, I arranged the room for you, and I have cooked every delicious thing you like”

He looked at her and smiled “ thanks mom”

Louis’s phone went off and it was Liam, he looked at Harry and smiled “I gotta take this”

Harry nodded without looking and Louis sighed leaving the room

“ yes Liam” he answered once he closed the door behind him

“ where are you? “

“ what happened? “ Louis asked

Liam “ he did it again.. This time it’s a kid, barely fourteen”

Louis wanted to scream, he groaned loudly that few people looked at him wondering, but he ignored  
“ I am coming, send me the location “

Liam sighed “ okay, don’t be late”

When Louis put the phone down he saw a doctor was walking towards Harry’s room

“ excuse me” Louis said and then he approached the doctor and extended his hand “ Louis

Tomlinson, Harry’s husband “

The door extended his hand 5o for the handshake “ Dr Aiden Grimshaw, I will be Harry’s doctor”

Louis nodded “ is everything alright? “

The doctor tried to smile “ not exactly , something changed form the last time”

“ what? “ Louis asked worriedly

The doctor “ I would like to discuss it with Harry, he told me it’s his decision”

Louis frowned “ I am his husband “

The doctor nodded understanding again “ I understand that sir, but it’s Harry’s words” Louis nodded, he hated that doctor already, the doctor knocked and opened the door.

He walked inside smiling widely at Harry, while Harry who was talking to Anne also adjusted his body and leaned his back on the pillow smiling at the doctor  
“ how are you now? “ the doctor asked while taking his chart and reading it

“ I feel okay. What happened? “ Harry asked with concerns

The doctor looked again at him still smiling “ oh don’t worry love, everything will be okay” he said patting his thigh in a weird friendly way.

Louis was watching the doctor and he was feeling annoyed, jealous and also angry.

He walked and stand by Harry on the other side and glared at the doctor “ so what changed? “ Louis asked, and Harry snapped his head to him “ what? “

Then he looked at the doctor with eyes full of dread “ something has changed? “

The doctor tried to keep his smile and then he looked at Louis “ I was just telling your husband here that.. But it is not something to worry about”

Anne finally talked can barley hide her worried too“ we made all the tests and it all came clear “

The doctor looked at her “that was before today”

Louis felt harry tensed beside him and he put his hand on his shoulder to calm him down

The doctor looked at Louis’s hand and then he continued “ we have discussed the risk of the surgery before.. And right now the risk has elevated”

What are the risks, and why he didn't know anything about it.

Anne “ how? “

Harry was looking down refusing to look at anyone.   
The doctor said softly “ we are scared that we might affect his sight”

Anne whispered hiding her mouth with her hand “ oh God”

The doctor sighed “ the good news is. I am great and expert doctor, so there is no need to worry. But it’s my job to tell you about all the risks”

He looked at harry waiting for any answer so again he put his hand on Harry’s thigh “ you are safe with me Harry, I promise you”

Again Louis glared at the hand and he hated the touch   
“ but if you don’t want to do it , it’s okay. We can try the new line of medications we talked about”

Harry finally shook his head “ no, I want you to do it”

Louis said “ Harry.. “

Harry looked up at the doctor “ you have to do it. I want this to over”

The doctor looked between the two of them, Louis said still looking at Harry unbelieving “ Harry, we must think about it baby”

Harry said without looking at Louis “ I thought about it. I want to do it”

Dr Grimshaw said assuring “ I can do it, I promise you, you will be okay”

Louis looked at the doctor “ you just said he might lose his sight”

The doctor shook his head “but he won’t “

Louis ignored him and looked at Harry again “ Harry please, think about it”

Harry looked down at his lap again “ I want to do it”

Louis sighed and looked at Anne “ say something “

Anne sighed and looked at Louis “ we have talked about it Lou, it’s Harry’s decision “ Fuck Harry’s decisions, it is his sight they were talking about.  
Louis stopped talking, they talked about it? When?

Then the doctor said “ I will see you next Wednesday then”

Harry nodded still looking down, the doctor stood up “ you will be okay”

And he left the room.

They stayed in silence for a couple of minutes before Anne stood up and excused for a phone call leaving the couple alone.

Louis’s phone went off but this time he didn’t look at it he just cancelled the call.

He looked at Harry “ are you sure this is what you want? “

Harry looked at him “ if you are asking me if I don't want to lose my balance and shake at the middle of the day and sacre the people around me and wet my self then I guess you know my answer Louis”

Louis sighed, Harry was angry and he was scared “ baby, you have to think about it”

Harry closed his eyes repeating himself “ I ‘ve already done that”

“you could lose your sight” Louis tried again

Harry shook his head “ I could not. You heard him he is a good doctor, he will take care of me” Louis snorted “yeah right”

Harry opened his eyes and looked at Louis “ what does this mean? “

Louis “ you know what it means. I have seen him touching you”

“what the fuck Lou? He is my doctor for God sake”   
harry snapped

Louis snapped back “and that’s why he should keep his hand to himself”

Harry shook his head in frustration and he looked struggling to keep his mouth shut, finally he looked at his lap and folded his hand against his chest  
Louis couldn’t stop himself at this point “ aren’t you saying anything? “

Harry didn’t talk

Louis chuckled sarcastically “ what, do you like it? Do you like him touching you? “

Harry yelled “ my God lou, just shut up”

Louis stopped talking, it wasn’t the right place or the right time to be jealous anyway.

His phone went off again and this time it was harry who snorted “ you better answer this, it hurts my head "

Louis looked at his phone, again it was Liam

“I will do the surgery Louis. This is my final word”

Louis looked at him angry “ why you have to be stubborn? Let’s talk about it? “

Harry didn’t talk, he was just staring at him  
Louis sighed “ listen, I will go and I will be back in two or three hours maximum.. We will talk about it, okay? “

Harry finally said “ yeah, sure”

Louis didn’t expect that but he took it as an answer, he walked closer and he kissed his forehead and then he walked out the room trying to hide his feeling, he was ashamed of himself but again, he had to go.

He was running down the corridor when he heard his name. Anne called him

He turned his back and she was looking at him shocked “ are you leaving? “

Louis sighed “ I have to go”

Anne shook her head “ please don’t, please don’t do this to him”

Louis sighed “ I will be back, I promise “

“ he needs you, do you know how scared he is right now”

“I will be back” he said again

Anne took a deep breath “ listen Louis. I love you like I love him. You are like my son and I always have supported you. But I keep seeing my son's heart gets broken day after day because of you” then she wiped her tears away “ I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep seeing him this way”

Louis looked at her softly, he never had seen her begging this way. He walked closer to her “ I will be back”

Anne shook her head in defeat and she looked down “ I can’t say anything to convince you can I? “ Louis “   
don’t make it harder”

She looked at him “ it doesn’t have to be hard, it has to be him” He nodded “ I will be back” he repeated himself again.

Finally she sighed and gave him her back and she left.

Louis didn’t come back that night, he was stuck at work and he had to go back to the hospital the next morning. He didn’t found harry or Anne there and he knew that had already left.

******  
When Louis opened his eyes he was still in his dark office. His phone was ringing and that was the reason he wake up

He was sleeping on his desk, he must felled asleep during his work. When he stretched his body his body back hurt that he groaned.

He took his phone that was still ringing and he answered his sister

“ hello Lottie” he said with his scratch voice

“morning Lou. Happy birthday”

Louis frowned “ what? “

She giggled “ your birthday is next week, I wanted to be the first who wish you a happy birthday”

Louis chuckled “ yeah, thank you”

Then he left his seat and he walked slowly out of the office.

“ how are the girls? “

She sighed “ missing you”

Louis walked through his house to his kitchen, the house was no different than the office, dark, all the curtains were closed, it was messy and looked not being cleaned since ages

He smiled while opening the fridge “ I will come by soon”

“yeah, right. Come on Lou, they have been dying to see you. The twins ask about you all the time”

He took the juice out and closed the fridge, he took a deep breath he hasn’t seen his family since long time ago now

“ are you coming for Christmas? “ she asked softly  
He closed his eyes “ I will try”

“ please Louis. It has been a year since-“

“lottie please. I can’t talk about it” he said hastily

“okay, okay sorry”

“I have to go”

“ Lou I am so-“

He ended the call throwing his phone away.  
He looked at his hand that was shaking now and then he shook his head and he ran out of the kitchen took his jacket and keys, and wore his sneakers before running out of the house.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading
> 
> English is not my first language

When Louis entered the station in the morning, he felt all the eyes were on him. He was confused while walking to his office that he shared with Zayn and Liam trying to avoid the weird looks he got from the others.

Once he was in front of the office he saw Zayn walking towards him

“ God. Louis are you okay? “

Louis took another look behind him and he felt people were still looking at him but when he looked at them they pretended not to

“ why wouldn’t I? “

Zayn sighed “ let’s talk inside” and he opened the door and entered followed by Louis . When Louis saw Liam was sitting on his desk face pale as a sheet he knew there was something wrong going on.

Louis looked between his two friends and also co-worker “ what’s wrong? “

Liam looked at Zayn frowning then he stood up and asked Louis “ where have you been? “

Louis still confused “ home? “

Then again they didn’t talk, Louis huffed losing his patience “ guys..”

Zayn was the one who spoke “ we got threats”

Louis frowned deeper “ what? Who are we? “

Liam “ zayn and I.. We thought you too”

Louis “ who sent them.. And how? “

Zayn turned to his desk “ Liam’s car was destroyed this morning in front of his house.. And someone sent flowers yo Gigi.. With a card” then he took something from his desk and gave it to Louis

It was a card and it says  
( try to enjoy the rest of your life)

Louis’s blood boiled “ what the hell? What does this mean? “he looked at Zayn and now he saw zayn was barely trying yo compose himself  
“ I don’t know. I sent her away and put 24/7 protection around her”

Louis cursed silently and looked at the card again  
Liam asked “ you sure you didn't get anything? “

Louis looked at them “ no, nothing. Do we know who is sending those threats”

Liam huffed “ we are working on one mission Louis. It is him”

“ what about Harry? “ Zayn asked

And Louis’s heart dropped, he looked at Zayn and he didn’t talk

“ maybe he got something like Gigi? “

Louis tried to breath, but he shook his head “ I do- I d.. Fuck. I don’t know”

Liam raised his brow, Louis “ he was at the hospital two day ago. Had a continuous seizures, but he went to his mother’s home.. I tried to see him.. But he didn’t want to”

They didn’t comment, they already knew things weren’t good and after the last fight with Zayn, they knew better than saying anything about it. “ I think you should warn him” Liam said

Louis snapped his head at Liam “ no”

“yes.. He has to know. This man is not joking and he steps ahead. We can’t do anything if he tried to hurt anyone “

Louis again shook his head “ no, no I can’t. He has a surgery in less than a week. I can’t stress him more”

Liam “ Louis. Do you realise- “

“I do. I know”

“ I don’t think you understand. I know you are worried about him.. But he has to know if anything happened.. He has to tell you”

Louis rubbed his face angrily and then he said “ I will try to talk to him”

Then he gave Zayn the card and he was going to leave, Liam grasped his forearm and said “ be careful please “

Louis only nodded and stormed outside.  
******

Anne looked surprised when she opened the door and saw Louis “ Louis. What are you doing here?”

Louis sighed when he saw her shielding the way inside “ I need to see him”

“we talked about it, Louis please “

“I am not gonna hurt him” he snapped but he didn’t meant to

“ you’ve already done that so You can’t hurt him now . But I can’t let you stress him more”

He rolled his eyes and was going to talk again when he heard laughter coming from the inside

He looked at her, and she said “ his friends from school are here to check on him”

Louis sighed “ good, then I can say hi and stay with them. We don’t have to talk about anything “

Then they heard the voices coming closer “ mom, who is this? “ Harry asked from behind

Louis looked behind Anne and he saw him standing there, looking somehow more attractive, he pulled his hair under the bandana just the way Louis likes.

When Harry saw him he froze, then Louis saw Niall and another man heading towards the door

“Tommo, how are you man? “ Niall said while shaking his hand

Louis tried to smile and answered “ all good, you? “

Niall sighed and looked at harry “ just worried about the curly man over there. We can’t lose him now, can we? All the school were asking about him lately”

Louis smiled and looked at harry who was still looking at Louis.

Niall said “ this is Stan. He is a new teacher with us. He insisted to come with me”

Louis looked at Stan and also gave him a handshake “ pleasure to meet you” Stan said politely and Louis smiled.

Niall “ alright. We should go now” he then looked at Harry “ see you on Thursday harry. Stay positive “

Harry smiled nodding and then they disappeared after saying bye to Anne.

Once Harry’s friend left harry turned his back to walk away

“Harry please.. I need to talk”

Harry didn’t stop and Louis entered the house following him, Anne sighd and closed the door and walked to the kitchen

“ harry”

Harry finally stopped but he didn’t turn his back, Louis heard him sighing

“ I came to see you a lot, but Anne didn’t let me”َ

Harry nodded “ I know, I asked her not to”

Louis shook his head while closing his eyes “  
Harry I know you are still upset but come on.. “

“ what do you want Louis” he snapped and looked at him glaring

“ I want to see if you are okay-“

“see? I am okay, you can go now” he said walking again away

“ it’s unfair harry” he whispered but he was sure harry listened, when Harry didn’t stop he said louder “ it’s unfair”

Harry froze in his place, Louis was angry and also felt weak

“ why are you punishing me, it is my work, I have a case and people are dying”

“I don’t care “ Harry yelled, he looked at him now “I don’t care, it is always your job. It always comes first”

“no”

“yes”

“Harry, i am not always like that”

Harry chuckled and pinched his nose bridge  
Louis said again “ I am not always like that, I am always there. I always was there for you and I always took good care of you.. I was always there until-“

“you had enough. Until you had enough” harry finished for him

Louis was shocked “ never, that’s not true”

“ but it is. You are right, you were always there and I know how hard it was for you to look after me and to help me through and after my seizures, I know how a burden I am and I know I was stupid enough to believe that you will always be there”

“Harry what are you talking about? “ Louis was truly shocked 

“ I am saying the words you were trying to avoid Louis. Those last three months made me see.. “ he snorted “ finally l see”

“see what? “

“how much burden I am”

“you are not” Louis said louder and harry flinched, Louis walked closer to him “ what are you even talking about? Are you saying that I was doing it intentionally?Are you saying I was running away from you?, what the fuck harry how could you say this? How could you think this about me” Harry was staring at him and then he lowered his head “ you made me feel this way”

“I am sorry” he walked closer “ God I am, I am so sorry Harry. But this is not true. Never true”

Louis was in tears now which rarely happened “ Hazza you are the most important thing to me”

“stop” harry whispered, Louis “ but you are”

Harry shook his head “ no, I am not” he looked at him “ I am not a regular person Louis. I know I need special care. People like me shouldn’t be left alone for days. You know that. If I was important like you say you would never leave me”

“harry”

But Harry said through his tears “ do you know how I feel after the seizure ends, when you are not around? I panic. I wake up alone on the ground soaking in my fucking piss, disoriented. And I can’t breath. I can’t walk” he closed his eyes trying to suppress his pain “ but I have to, I have to walk and clean myself, and clean the place and pretend that I am okay. You stopped even noticed my bruises lou”

And it hurt

Louis looked at the ground unable to talk, unable to look at Harry’s eyes “ tell me what to do? “ he said  
Then he looked at harry who was wiping his tears “ tell me”

Harry sighed “ stay away from me”

Louis opened his mouth shocked but no words came, Harry said weakly “ I am already stressed and  
I don’t... I can’t have another seizure not now. And you stress me “

Louis shook his head “ no, no harry don’t push me away. Don’t choose this”

Harry shook his head “ no, that choice wasn’t mine Louis. It has been made long time ago"

Louis walked to Harry and held his hand “ baby, please. Please don’t I am sorry “

Harry took a deep breath “ I love you Louis. But I know you will let me down again, and I can’t take it anymore”

“I am not, I swear I promise you, please, please “

Harry cried and Louis hugged him tightly, then Harry wrapped his hand around Louis and he buried his face in Louis’s nick crock.

Louis whispered sorry over and over again.

Louis didn’t leave harry that night, he stayed with him and they had dinner together and they watched some movie. They even slept at the same bed.

Louis didn’t tell Harry anything about the threats, he just enjoyed seeing him happy and laughing again, he enjoyed being happy and laughing again. He felt the warm spreading through his chest and it felt like long time ago since he felt that and he could only blame one person.

“ I am not scared”

harry said when they were on sleep in the dark. Harry’s childhood bed that wasn’t big enough but they fit perfectly on it. He was playing with Louis’s hand and Louis was closing his eyes leaning for the touch  
“ but I am” Louis answered

Harry sighed “ I know, and so as mom. But come on, do you think fate will mock me and leave me with epilipsy and blind? That would be unfair don’t you think? “ he giggled

Louis couldn’t resist smiling too “ but it still risky you know”

“ I don’t like to think this way, I want to be positive and I am sure it will end good”

Louis kissed his hand “ I am supporting you in anything harry. But this is different “

Harry huffed “ you are not asking me to change my mind”

Louis shrugged “ i don’t know. I told you I support you but I got my own fears. I mean even if that happened God forbid I will take care of you.. But I want to know you are a hundred percent sure of this”

Harry took a moment before saying “ there is no guarantees you know. But Dr Grimshaw says I will be okay”

Grimshaw? That doctor

“ he seems sure more than he should. I mean we know that rule of not promising something you can’t be sure about”

“well at this point I want him to promise me this”

Louis sighed

“ please, let’s not fight about him” harry whispered in his ear

Louis frowned although he knew Harry can’t see “ who says I want to fight”

Harry giggled and buried his face in Louis’s hair “ I know you baby, you get jealous easily”

“ not true”

“okay” harry said smiling

Louis stayed silent enjoying Harry’s breathing on his hair and neck and then said “ but he was flirting though”

Harry giggled again still in his position “ you just proved my point”

Louis smiled “ alright I get jealous easily, but still.. he was flirting

“ no, Lou. He was just trying to calm my nerves. Last time he saw me I was crying mess and it was awful”

Louis froze, then he moved his head away and looked at harry it was dark but he could tell where his eyes were “

You were crying? “

Harry shrugged “ I was upset “

Louis sighed “ fuck. I was supposed to be with you”

“it’s okay”

Louis huffed “it’s not okay.. I feel stupid and.. I don’t know what to do to make it up for you”

Harry pulled Louis to him and again he buried his face in his hair “ you are here.. That what matters  
now”

Louis nodded “ and I am not leaving again I promise “

Harry kissed his hair “ I know” then he asked “ so, what is going on? What is this case”

And fuck, Louis tensed and his heart started to beat fast

“ Lou? “

Louis cleared his voice “ it’s nothing to worry about. Don’t think about my work, just worry about getting better”

Harry still not buying it “ are you sure? “

“ sure, love.. Just worry about yourslef”

Harry moaned “ no, I won’t... I don’t want to worry at all. I want you”

Louis giggled “ are you sure”

“that’s I am sure. Besides I don’t know when we can do this again”

Louis sighed “ don’t say this”

“ it’s true though. I will have to be on bed for long, so “

“alright. Do you think this bed gonna stand us? “

“ guess we have to see for ourselves”

*****  
Louis was leaving the station when he was met by Liam’s face “ you still here? “

Louis walking “ on my way... I am taking him now”

Liam stood beside him “ how is he? “

“I guess he is the only one who is okay. Me and his mom are nervous as fuck”

Liam nodded “ it’s tough”

Louis shrugged “ I just want him to be okay. I want him to be happy. I mean I never thought he hated his disease that’s much that he could risk his life this way”

Liam put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed softly “ we are coming at night to check on you two. how long will it take? “

Louis again shrugged “ it depends. We just hope it ends perfectly. Alright.. I gotta go. See you” he ran outside

“ say hi to him” Liam said and then hastily said “ and good luck”

Louis was in front of his car when he felt a sudden pain in his head and then blackness.

*****  
Harry was standing at the doorsteps looking around when his mom cam from behind carrying his handbag and said

“ I am sure he will meet us at the hospital “

Harry looked at her and he tried to smile but he nodded  
He smiled then Gemma showed closing the door behind her “ no sign of him yet? “ she asked

Harry looked down, and Anne looked at her blaming  
Gemma walked to her brother and wrapped her hand around his waist “ let’s go, I am sure he will be there”

****  
When Louis opened his eyes, he felt paralysed, he couldn’t move because he was bounded tightly to the chair he was sitting on. His mouth was gagged and he felt a sticky liquid covering his eyes, he knew it was his blood.

He looked around tried to free his hand, but it was tied really tight.

The place around him was small, he was locked in a small dark room, it was silent but he could see movement through the window so he knew he was like maybe underground or something.

Then suddenly the door was opened with noises, and a man entered wearing a vendetta mask, holding a stick in his hand, he looked at Louis and walked closer that he was few steps in front then he moved his head from side to side and again hit Louis on his head.

****

Harry was in his room with his mother and Gemma, there was no need to say how upset and disappointed he was.

He was lying on the bed looking at the door from time to time. His sister and mom tried to talk to him but he begged them not to.

He tried to call Louis twenty times, Louis didn’t answer, he didn’t want to call Liam or Zayn, he thought they must be busy in something.

The door was opened and Harry looked hastily at it, he hoped it was Louis. Of course he wasn’t.

Dr Grimshaw entered the room smiling softly, he looked between his family then he looked at Harry again

"It’s time Harry, we can’t wait any longer”

Harry didn’t talk, he just looked at his lap trying his best not yo cry

Gemma said “ can’t we wait much longer”

The doctor shook his head “ I am really sorry. We have to do it now”

Harry finally said “ it’s okay. I am ready”

The doctor nodded “good, I am sending a nurse to take you while you wish him luck” he was talking to his family and then he left.

His mom hugged him tightly and said “ I will wait for you” she was crying but he wiped her tears “ hay, don’t cry. You will make me nervous” he hoped it would not be the last thing he saw his mother doing

She nodded and tried to smile, then Gemma took her place “ you better come back alive and not blind, you still didn’t see me in my wedding dress” then she hugged him

He giggled wrapping her “ I would never miss that sisy”

Then she pulled away and looked at his eyes “ I love you harry.. “

He smiled and he understood what she was trying to do, she was telling him there were other people who cared and he must come back for them.

He kissed her cheek “ I love you too”

Then the nurse entered and looked at Harry “ are you ready? “

He looked between his mom and sister “ i am”

*****

When Louis opened his eyes again, he was in the ground on the street at the middle of no where, head hurting like hell, then he heard the sound of his phone ringing

He tried to sit and his head hurt much more. He put his phone out of his pocket and he saw the caller “ Liam? “

“ here you are. You scared us. So how is he? Is he out of the surgery “

And Louis gasped, he stood up hastily and that was stupid, so stupid that he could fall any second now from the dizziness

“ shit.. Shit”

“ Tommo, what is wrong? Is he okay? “

Louis closed his eyes trying to stand still “ i am not at the hospital”

“ what do you mean? Where are you? “

“ I don’t know” the he tried to take a deep breath

“ Louis, what is going on? “ Liam said panicking now  
Louis sighed “ I need you to come and get me. I will send you the location “ then he looked at his watch and it was night already, he said crying “ hurry up”

He ended the call, and he tried to call Anne and Gemma. No one answered of course they were mad at him. Harry was already out of the surgery now. the surgery that he missed.

Thirty minutes later Liam stopped his car in front of Louis, he was waiting for him on the pavement trying to dry his blood by his jacket. Once he saw Liam he ran to the car

Liam gasped and froze watching his face “ what happened? “

Louis ignored and said “ take me to Harry’s hospital “

“Louis what is going on? “

Louis yelled “ i missed it too, I missed his surgery. Now would you please take me there so I can..  
Shit I can’t fix this” 

his voice cracked at the end and he couldn’t stop his tears now

Liam drove to the hospital while Louis tried to clean the blood. Liam gave him a bottle of water and Louis started to clean his brow and it showed a big cut on his left brow. And a big bruise on his right temple.

When Liam stopped the car, Louis ran inside, he asked some nurse behind the reception desk about Harry styles and she told him his room number but she had no idea how was he.

He ran to the room but he froze once he was there. He saw Anne was crying in Gemma’s lap who was also crying. He looked at the opened door and there was no Harry.

No Harry.


	4. Chapter 4

Louis had never experienced a panic attack, he had heard about it, he had seen people having it, but he had never experienced one. Well except for today.

When he saw Anne crying he froze in his place, no matter how many times he tried to move his leg they never responded, they were glued to the ground, he didn’t know what exactly happened but all he knew he wasn’t able to breath, he saw Liam talking to him but he could not heard him. Then he saw blackness.

When he opened his eyes later he was lying on a bed, and he figured out he was in the hospital, he sat bolt up right and he looked around him. Harry. He had to see Harry.

Then the door was opened and Gemma entered, when she saw him she walked closer to him, she was frowning and she looked exhausted

“ you are awake now”

He was still looking at her trying to form a word in his mouth “ Harry “

“he is alive” she said whole sitting beside him on the chair

He was still watching her, she finally said “ when you saw mom crying you panicked I guess. You passed out and you.. “ she took a deep breath “ what happened? Why didn’t you come? “

Louis sighed “ why was Anne crying? “

Gemma was watching him, and then she said looking down “ it didn’t go well”

Louis gasped still trying to breath

Gemma “ there were some complications during the surgery, they could not risk it any further-“

“what complications? “

She sighed “ we still not sure. All we know that his pressure got very high and he lost his conscious during the surgery”

Louis did talk, he sensed a bad thing, Gemma said “ he didn’t wake up”

“ what do you mean? “

Gemma wiped her tears “ he is in coma louis”

Louis didn’t talk, he just started at Gemma and then he looked at himself, why was he still lying on bed, why wasn’t he by Harry’s side.

He left his bed and Gemma was looking at him “you can’t see him, he is in ICU”

Louis shook his head and he stormed outside. 

Gemma followed him and she took him to where the ICU was, he couldn’t get inside no matter how he tried and finally the nurse allowed him to see him through the glass window for five minutes.

Louis kept staring at Harry for all this long five minutes and he was crying, actually he was sobbing, he cried like never before and he cried till everything hurt.

When he returned to Harry’s room he saw Dr Grimshaw coming out, so he stormed to him

“ you promised him” Louis spat

Dr Grimshaw looked seriously sad “ Mr Tomlinson, I understand what you are feeling, but trust me what happened was not expected, and I did saved his life at the table”

“what?! “ Louis said shocked

The doctor took a deep breath “ Mr Tomlinson, I am so sorry but it was very complicated and we almost lost him”

“oh my God” Louis whispered

“ but he is okay”

“how? “ Louis looked at him angrily “ how is he okay? He is in coma, in a fucking coma”

“ I know. But he is getting back”

“when? “ Louis almost yelled

“ soon, sooner than you expect I promise. His brain was under stress that’s why it protected itself by putting him in coma but once he is out of stress and trauma he will come back to us”

Louis shook his head “ it’s all your fault “

The doctor looked at him shocked, Louis glared at him “ he trusted you, you told him he will be okay, you promised. He had hopes.. He believed in you and now. Now he is in fucking coma, did you even finish your job? “

The doctor was looking really sad at Louis “ I couldn’t.. “

“so you didn’t even fix his fucking disease”

He shook his head “ I am so sorry, I didn’t. no”

Louis shook his head in frustration “ when will he come back?”

“I told you-“

“when? “ he yelled

The doctor put his hand on Louis’s shoulder but Louis didn’t accept that, he slapped the hand and pushed the doctor hard. Then he punched him in the nose, he was going to hit the doctor again but

Liam suddenly was there standing in front of Louis and pushing him away 

“ let me go” Louis yelled “ he promised him.. He fucking promised him”

Then he saw Zayn was helping the doctor to stand up who he was already on the floor now.

“ let’s go” Liam said and he pushed Louis and together they were out of the whole hospital.

*****

Louis was smoking outside the hospital and Liam was sitting on front of him, he was nervous enough that he couldn’t stay at one place for a minute, Zayn moved outside the hospital and he walked to them “ it’s not broken”

Louis looked at him blankly, Zayn explained “ the doctor nose”

Louis snorted huffing a big amount of smoke “ as if I care”

“well you should “ Liam snapped, he stood up “ you attacked a doctor in the hospital, do you know how serious this is? “

Zayn sighed “ he won’t do anything, he understands”

Louis snorted and looked down

Liam finally took a deep breath “ can we please talk now? “

Louis took a big drag then he threw the cigarette away “I was kidnapped “

Liam and Zayn didn’t flinch, they just kept staring at him

“ he didn’t do anything, he hit my head, then I wake up in a dark place, hit me again then I wake up in the street then I called you” he looked at Liam

Liam took a deep breath “ have you seen him? Anything? “

Louis “I saw him, but he was wearing a mask.. So nothing, but we can check the cameras. It might show something “

They nodded

“ you need to check this out?” liam said pointing at his brow

Louis put his hand on his cut and he nodded, he was shaking and his hand was terribly trembling

Zayn took a deep breath and walked closer to him “ he will be okay”

Louis looked at Zayn but he could not talk, he just nodded and looked down praying that Harry would really be okay 

******  
Louis has just finished stitching his cut, and he even did some x-rays since his head was hurting very much and the doctors were afraid of a concussion.

There was mild concussion and they advised him to take some painkillers and not to exhaust himself.

Louis was sitting outside Harry’s room when Anne opened the door and when she saw him she froze “ what are you doing here? “

Louis frowned and stood up slowly, he knew she was mad but

“ why do you bother now? You weren’t there, you didn’t say goodbye”

“goodbye? “ Louis whispered

Anne cried now covering her eyes, Louis walked to her and then he hugged her, she tried to move away but he didn’t let her she was sobbing now “ my baby.. My baby Louis. He is not waking up”

“shhh.. Shhh. He will, he will I know” he hugged her tightly and she finally surrender, he rubbed her back and she rested her head on his shoulder

Then she looked at him “ what happened to you? “ she was staring at the gauze over his brow

He shook his head and said “ don’t worry”

Then Gemma showed from the room and she saw her mom in Louis’ lap, she looked at Louis before she said looking at her mom “ mom, I think you should go home and have some rest”

She pulled away from Louis and looked at Gemma shaking her head “ not gonna happen “

Gemma sighed and rubbed her mother back “ come on, mom. I will be here if anything happened i will call you”

She again shook her head, Gemma looked at Louis for help  
“ come on Anne. I will be here too I am not leaving “

She looked at him “ we aren’t sure about that, are we? “

Louis bit his lip looking down, Gemma sighed “ okay, I am not leaving too. But mom please. You need some sleep. Go home and come back first thing in the morning “

Anne looked down thinking about it, she really was tired and very exhausted, she needed some sleep  
“ we can ask Niall to give you the ride. I am sure he is still here somewhere”

Louis again looked down, he didn’t know what to feel exactly, they were all here, expect him and it hurt.

Anne finally left, while Gemma and Louis stayed. Zayn and Liam also left and the promised they will come tomorrow.

Louis asked to see Harry again and the same nurse allowed him again. When he returned to the room it was empty, no sign for Gemma, he sat on the couch and took a deep shaky breath before noticing the tears were cascading his face.

The door was opened and he hastily wiped his tears away, But Gemma must had noticed because he heard her sighing and then she gave him a cup of coffee before sitting beside him cupping her cup between her hands.

Louis took a big sip of the coffee he needed it, he felt Gemma was watching his face then she patted his knee “ he will be okay. He is a fighter"

He nodded

Gemma then sighed “ so, what happened? “

He didn’t talk at the start, Gemma “ I am sure you didn’t want to miss his surgery. I mean you can miss my birthday or even his doctor’s appointments but not his surgery, so what happened to you? “ she said looking at his cut again.

He took a deep breath before taking another sip of the coffee “ you gotta promise me something first?  
“

She didn’t answer and he looked at her she shrugged still waiting

“ you would never tell him what happened? “

She raised her brow “ you know he will need a good excuse. I mean he will need more than an excuse”

He sighed nodding, he was looking at the table in front of him and he knew Harry would be more than mad about this

“ I know, but still”

Gemma frowned “ you are scaring me”

Louis shrugged then “ I was kidnapped”

“ what the-“

“he didn’t hurt me or anything, just hit me couple of times on my head”

Gemma was looking at him with eyes full of dread “ who would do this? And why? “

Louis looked at her now, when he saw the panic and tears in her eyes he frowned and he rubbed her thigh “ hay, I am okay”

Gemma nodded and wiped her tears hastily and then looked at him again waiting for the answer

“ there is a case.. Some serial killer, few days ago he started to send us threats”

“ oh god” she whispered covering her mouth

Louis closed his eyes “ he is few steps ahead Gem. I didn’t want to tell Harry because I couldn’t scare him”

Gemma nodded understanding

Louis “ we don’t know why he did it, maybe he wants to scare us. To give us a message That he is closer than we can imagine”

Gemma again nodded “but you are okay? “

He nodded trying to convince her, or himself. He wasn’t sure if he was okay or not. He was scared, he was nervous about Harry and about the case, he was worried about his family what if the killer tried to scare them again or hurt anyone from his family, what if he tried to hurt Harry, he would die if anything hurt Harry because of him.

Gemma must had read him because she moved closer to him and hugged him really tight. She was a sister to him, she was so understanding and she was wise. Always easy to talk to and always reminded him of her brother.

******  
Present time, Louis was barely conscious, he knocked himself down drinking. He was at some pub sitting on the bar and he was completely drunk.

The bartender stopped giving him any more drinks but Louis was still there unable to walk, unable to focus, but he didn’t miss the bartender eyes that were watching him with petty “ what are you looking at? “ he slurred trying to fight him.

The bartender shook his head wiping the glass in his hand by a cloth

Louis yelled “ hay, you.. I am talking to you”

The bartender said “ I am not looking Louis. You are okay? “

“what do you mean I am okay? How do you see me? “

The bartender whispered “ it’s okay, let’s not fight tonight okay? “

Louis tried to stand up mocking “ no let’ fight okay? “

The bartender shook his head and again started wiping the glass trying to ignore Louis

Louis yelled louder now “ don’t fucking ignore me”

The bartender kept ignoring, but Louis stood up now and he was about to walk to him when he felt a hand clutched his shoulder, he looked and it was Zayn  
Zayn sighed “ let’s go home “

Louis sighed “ I don’t wanna go home. I can’t go home”

Zayn started to support him, Louis was walking and swaying outside the pub, he was looking at the bartender glaring at him

“ stop scaring the poor man, he did nothing “ Zayn told him 

Louis looked in front “ he called you, he always calls you”

Zayn sighed putting Louis inside the car and then he entered the car and looked at Louis “ why are you doing this? “

But Louis did not answer, he just looked through the window leaning his head on it

Zayn started the car and moved away

“ I don’t wanna go home”

Zayn looked at him “ why? “

Louis shrugged “ I can’t”

Zayn nodded “ okay, do you wanna come with me again? “

Louis looked at him “ will that be okay with Gigi? “

Zayn frowned “ of course Tommo. Anytime”

Louis smiled “ okay then”

Then he stayed silent for a few seconds  
“  
Have you seen him lately? “

Zayn looked at Louis and then he sighed and looked in front again ignoring Louis, Louis didn’t ask again and zayn didn’t answer. 


	5. Chapter 5

Harry styed at his coma for three days, Louis didn’t leave his side for a second, he was transferred to a private room and Louis stayed day and night at the chair beside him waiting. 

on day four he wake up completely aware Louis was also there when he wake up. He whispered Louis name before even open his eyes, Louis rushed outside to bring the doctors and the nurses and they refused to let him in until they make sure harry was okay.

Louis called Anne and Gemma and they came as fast as they could, he was waiting in front of Harry’s room when they arrived

“ how is he? “ first thing Anne said

Louis hugged her saying “ he talks.. But I don’t know. The doctors are still inside they didn’t let me in”

Gemma rubbed her mother back looking at the closed door “ he will be fine, I am sure”

Louis sighed and nodded too waiting.

Ten minutes later the door was opened and two doctors including Dr Grimshaw and a nurse moved outside

Once Louis and Harry's family saw the doctors they rushed to him

“he is okay” fist thing Grimshaw said

“ then what took you so long? “ Louis asked

Dr Grimshaw answered patiently “ we need to make sure everything is okay with him. He has been in a coma for three days so we did all the possible tests to make sure everything is fine”

“and? “ Anne asked

Grimshaw nodded “ he is.. Okay” he seemed unsure  
“okay? “ Louis repeated the word

“ he is aware of everything, he sees and speaks and hears perfectly”

“but? “Gemma asked

“ there is a slight weakness in his right hand”

Anne gasped “ oh my God”

The doctor assured them “ it just really slight, with some physical treatment he is going to be fine”

Louis sighed “ did he know? About the surgery “

The doctor looked at him and he looked very sad when he said “ he did, and he is really disappointed right now. I tried to convince him about the other options we have but... He really wanted to get it over”

Louis wanted to snap “ whose fault is this" but he kept it to himself

“ he is asking for you”

They were moving when the doctor added “actually he is asking for his mom”

Louis glared at him angrily, the doctor sighed “ I am really sorry, but he made sure it was only his  
mom”

Anne patted Louis back “ it’s okay. It’s okay”

And she walked inside closing the door behind her   
Gemma sighed “ he is just angry “

Louis groaned “ that’s why I should be in there”

Gemma nodded then she hugged his hand “ come in, let’s have a seat. At least he is okay, right”

Louis had to walk with Gemma, he had no other options and he was already angry and exhausted.

When Anne walked out the room, she walked to them and obviously she was crying, although there was no tears but her nose and eyes were enough evidence.

“ he is sleeping “ she said before sitting beside them, she sat beside Louis so he was in the middle between her and Gemma

Louis and Gemma were looking at her waiting for more, she sighed and said “ I have never seen him like this before”

Louis rubbed her thigh while Gemma left her seat and sat on the floor in front of her

Anne shook her head and wiped her falling tears “ he is very weak and very disappointed.. I don’t know how to help him”

Gemma rubbed her mom’s hand “ it’s okay mom, he will understand.. He is strong. he is always strong”

****

When harry wake up next time he asked for Gemma, Louis’s heart ached even more but he couldn’t say anything, he wanted harry to be comfortable and if not seeing him would do it then he was fine with it.

Zayn was sitting with Louis giving him the latest news, they were still steps behind the killer . Niall and Stan came too and they looked very worried when Louis told them about harry.

“ I can’t imagine how angry he is” Niall said rubbing his face

Louis looked at Niall and he could understand his feeling, Niall has been Harry’s friend since high school, they were close and it was Niall who taught Louis how to remain calm and help harry as much as he could during his seizures

“ did the doctor told you when he can leave? “ Stan asked

And again Louis looked at Stan, how come Harry never told him about Stan? The look on his face said he was worried, he cared , so how come Harry never mentioned him before?

“ They are still not sure” Louis answered flatly, not because he hated the man, but he just felt angry that Harry did not mention a new caring friend like Stan.   
Stan only nodded and looked down trying to avoid Louis’ looks.

When Gemma went outside the room this time, she greeted all the visitors and then she looked at Louis “ he is asking for you”

And for a second Louis’s couldn’t breath, he stared at Gemma and she smiled to him encouraging, he slightly nodded and he stood up

“ tell him we say hi” Niall said while Louis was walking to Harry.

Louis opened the door, and Harry was lying on his bed, his back was leaning on the pillow and he was closing his eyes

Louis walked and sat beside him on the bed, still staring at him, still scared but he didn’t know why. 

Harry opened his eyes and looked at him,

Louis smiled “ hay baby”

Harry tried to smile, Louis held Harry’s right hand “ you scared me harry, you can’t do this to me again”

Harry looked at his hand, the hand that was weak now and then he cried

“ hay baby, don’t, don’t cry”

But Harry did not stop, Louis slowly hugged him and Harry buried his face in Louis’s chest

“ did you know? “ Harry said between his sobs

Louis bit his lip to control his tears too “ it’s okay baby, I know. But it’s okay”

Harry shook his head, and then he looked at Louis in the eyes and said “ not okay”

Louis wiped Harry’s tears now with his thumbs, his eyes were glassy too but he just had to say something to make harry feel better “ but it’s okay baby, you are here. You are back to me” Harry looked down and then he closed his eyes “ I am sorry”

Louis frowned “ why is that baby? “

“ I wanted it to work” harry said with a shaky voice “ for you”

Louis widening his eyes “ what? “

Harry nodded “ I wanted it to work, I thought it could save us, it could save our marriage “

Louis looked at Harry shockingly “ save what? What is wrong with our marriage harry? “

Harry sighed and rested his back again on the pillows behind him “ everything is wrong with our marriage Louis”

Louis was really shocked, he never heard this kind of words coming from Harry, he never expected that “ who put these thoughts in your mind Harry? “

Harry shrugged “ no one. I know. Maybe if I am not sick, maybe if I am no more burden you will come back to me”

Louis again held Harry’s hand trying to convince him “ I am here harry, I am always here. It just my work”.

Harry then looked at Louis and said “ I know about the other man”

Louis frowned still looking at him “what man? “

Harry said “ someone sent me the photos Louis, please stop denying it”

Louis left his hand and he froze, someone sent him photos? What photos and how he had no idea about that

“what photos Harry? “ he asked nervously

Harry looked again at his lap “ you and him, eating lunch, laughing together “

Louis frowned deeper “I am only having lunch with Liam and Zayn and I am pretty sure you know who they are” he snapped but when he saw Harry flinching he calmed “ baby, where are those photos, can I see them? “

Harry shook his head “ they are at home?

“fuck, at home? When did you get them? “

Harry shrugged still refusing to meet his eyes “ I don’t know last week, the day I had my last seizure”

“  
"And you didn’t fucking telling me anything about it”

Harry didn’t talk

“ Harry, this is important, why didn’t you tell me? “

Harry shrugged again “ I don’t know, I was scared “

Louis tried to take a deep breath, he knew what that meant, someone was watching Louis, someone was watching Harry

“ scared of what? Harry that’s not true.. There is no other man”

Harry closed his eyes “ you didn’t come Louis” then he opened his eyes and they were glassy now “ you missed my surgery.. And I was so scared.. I needed you more than ever before, but you didn’t come you didn’t even call” he wiped his eyes “ I am so pathetic”

Louis was watching Harry and he was panicking, he was angry that who ever was threatening him was this close from Harry, he was angry that he missed Harry’s surgery and he could not even tell him  
why

“ you are not” Louis whispered softly

Harry snapped “ but i am” then he cried “ everyone was here, my family, my friends and I kept waiting for you. I wanted to be normal for you” then he snorted “ but I guess normal does not want  
me”

Louis returned to sit beside him “Harry I love you no matter what is wrong-“

“please just stop” Harry whispered, “ I hate it, I hate when you tell me that, I hate when you say you love how weak and stupid and pathetic I am”

Louis was out of words, everything he said sounded wrong in Harry’s mind “ baby what are you saying”

“ the truth” Harry said angrily “ everyone is trying to tell me it’s okay and I don’t know how are you trying to convince me or yourself ” he huffed “ it’s not okay, not okay Louis”

He rested his head on the pillow “ I am sick, I am always sick, since I was three Louis, do you know how it makes me feel? How I felt when I was younger? I was the freak that kids were scared to play with, I was the freak who was possessed, who peed himself, who caused himself concussions more than normal. I broke every bone I have Louis because of this fucking disease so it is not fucking okay” he was crying

Louis moved closer and hugged harry, Harry sniffing “ I hate it Louis, I wanted it to stop, I hate everything. now I hate my life”

Louis tighten his grip unable to say a single word, Harry “ and you weren’t there, and it didn’t work.  
It didn’t work”

“ stop” Louis said, he was crying too, he cupped Harry’s face so he could meet his eyes “ I am sorry Harry okay, I am sorry I wasn’t there for you but you can’t say this to me.. You can’t say you hate your life, you can’t say you are pathetic because you are not” harry sobbed shutting his eyes, Louis insisted “  
You are not, you are strong, you are beautiful, you are everything that matters to me. Harry please believe me when I tell you you are, there is no one else, there will never be anyone else. It’s you, it is always you”

“ you didn’t come Louis” harry sobbed

Louis took a deep breath “ look at me, Harry open your eyes and look at me” harry opened his eyes, he was breathing fast and Louis was scared if he was having a seizure or worse

“ I love you, with all my heart. There is no one else. I am sorry, I am so sorry for not being here for you. But I promise it will never happen again, I would trade the world to be with you harry but something happened”

Harry closed his eyes again and tried to have a deep breath

“ you are okay? “ Louis asked

Harry slowly nodded, Louis kissed him in his forehead “ I love you, I love you so much, God you have no idea”

Harry wrapped his hand around Louis and he buried his face in his neck “ I can’t do this anymore”

And Louis didn’t know what he meant exactly, but he didn’t want to know too “ shhh, shhh it’s okay” Louis whispered in his ear over and over again.

******

Louis didn’t want to leave harry, but he needed to see those photos harry talked about. He looked everywhere, in every place in the bed room, he knew Harry must had hid them but where.

Finally he knew where, he ran out of the room to the kitchen, and he opened the drawer where harry keep his drugs and he found brown envelope, he took it right away and he opened it and there were the photos of Louis sitting with a man from behind, it was photoshoped, those weren’t real, he remembered that day he was having dinner with Liam alone. It happened last month, so he was watched long time ago.

Louis spread the photos on the kitchen table and he looked at them, suddenly it hit him, Harry had a seizure when he saw those photos, the last continuous one, that it was the reason for the failure of the surgery, those photos were the reason they ruined Harry’s surgery, ruined Harry’s life.


	6. Chapter 6

Harry styed at his coma for three days, Louis didn’t leave his side for a second, he was transferred to a private room and Louis stayed day and night at the chair beside him waiting. 

on day four he wake up completely aware Louis was also there when he wake up. He whispered Louis name before even open his eyes, Louis rushed outside to bring the doctors and the nurses and they refused to let him in until they make sure harry was okay.

Louis called Anne and Gemma and they came as fast as they could, he was waiting in front of Harry’s room when they arrived

“ how is he? “ first thing Anne said

Louis hugged her saying “ he talks.. But I don’t know. The doctors are still inside they didn’t let me in”

Gemma rubbed her mother back looking at the closed door “ he will be fine, I am sure”

Louis sighed and nodded too waiting.

Ten minutes later the door was opened and two doctors including Dr Grimshaw and a nurse moved outside

Once Louis and Harry's family saw the doctors they rushed to him

“he is okay” fist thing Grimshaw said

“ then what took you so long? “ Louis asked

Dr Grimshaw answered patiently “ we need to make sure everything is okay with him. He has been in a coma for three days so we did all the possible tests to make sure everything is fine”

“and? “ Anne asked

Grimshaw nodded “ he is.. Okay” he seemed unsure  
“okay? “ Louis repeated the word

“ he is aware of everything, he sees and speaks and hears perfectly”

“but? “Gemma asked

“ there is a slight weakness in his right hand”

Anne gasped “ oh my God”

The doctor assured them “ it just really slight, with some physical treatment he is going to be fine”

Louis sighed “ did he know? About the surgery “

The doctor looked at him and he looked very sad when he said “ he did, and he is really disappointed right now. I tried to convince him about the other options we have but... He really wanted to get it over”

Louis wanted to snap “ whose fault is this" but he kept it to himself

“ he is asking for you”

They were moving when the doctor added “actually he is asking for his mom”

Louis glared at him angrily, the doctor sighed “ I am really sorry, but he made sure it was only his  
mom”

Anne patted Louis back “ it’s okay. It’s okay”

And she walked inside closing the door behind her  
Gemma sighed “ he is just angry “

Louis groaned “ that’s why I should be in there”

Gemma nodded then she hugged his hand “ come in, let’s have a seat. At least he is okay, right”

Louis had to walk with Gemma, he had no other options and he was already angry and exhausted.

When Anne walked out the room, she walked to them and obviously she was crying, although there was no tears but her nose and eyes were enough evidence.

“ he is sleeping “ she said before sitting beside them, she sat beside Louis so he was in the middle between her and Gemma

Louis and Gemma were looking at her waiting for more, she sighed and said “ I have never seen him like this before”

Louis rubbed her thigh while Gemma left her seat and sat on the floor in front of her

Anne shook her head and wiped her falling tears “ he is very weak and very disappointed.. I don’t know how to help him”

Gemma rubbed her mom’s hand “ it’s okay mom, he will understand.. He is strong. he is always strong”

****

When harry wake up next time he asked for Gemma, Louis’s heart ached even more but he couldn’t say anything, he wanted harry to be comfortable and if not seeing him would do it then he was fine with it.

Zayn was sitting with Louis giving him the latest news, they were still steps behind the killer . Niall and Stan came too and they looked very worried when Louis told them about harry.

“ I can’t imagine how angry he is” Niall said rubbing his face

Louis looked at Niall and he could understand his feeling, Niall has been Harry’s friend since high school, they were close and it was Niall who taught Louis how to remain calm and help harry as much as he could during his seizures

“ did the doctor told you when he can leave? “ Stan asked

And again Louis looked at Stan, how come Harry never told him about Stan? The look on his face said he was worried, he cared , so how come Harry never mentioned him before?

“ They are still not sure” Louis answered flatly, not because he hated the man, but he just felt angry that Harry did not mention a new caring friend like Stan.  
Stan only nodded and looked down trying to avoid Louis’ looks.

When Gemma went outside the room this time, she greeted all the visitors and then she looked at Louis “ he is asking for you”

And for a second Louis’s couldn’t breath, he stared at Gemma and she smiled to him encouraging, he slightly nodded and he stood up

“ tell him we say hi” Niall said while Louis was walking to Harry.

Louis opened the door, and Harry was lying on his bed, his back was leaning on the pillow and he was closing his eyes

Louis walked and sat beside him on the bed, still staring at him, still scared but he didn’t know why. 

Harry opened his eyes and looked at him,

Louis smiled “ hay baby”

Harry tried to smile, Louis held Harry’s right hand “ you scared me harry, you can’t do this to me again”

Harry looked at his hand, the hand that was weak now and then he cried

“ hay baby, don’t, don’t cry”

But Harry did not stop, Louis slowly hugged him and Harry buried his face in Louis’s chest

“ did you know? “ Harry said between his sobs

Louis bit his lip to control his tears too “ it’s okay baby, I know. But it’s okay”

Harry shook his head, and then he looked at Louis in the eyes and said “ not okay”

Louis wiped Harry’s tears now with his thumbs, his eyes were glassy too but he just had to say something to make harry feel better “ but it’s okay baby, you are here. You are back to me” Harry looked down and then he closed his eyes “ I am sorry”

Louis frowned “ why is that baby? “

“ I wanted it to work” harry said with a shaky voice “ for you”

Louis widening his eyes “ what? “

Harry nodded “ I wanted it to work, I thought it could save us, it could save our marriage “

Louis looked at Harry shockingly “ save what? What is wrong with our marriage harry? “

Harry sighed and rested his back again on the pillows behind him “ everything is wrong with our marriage Louis”

Louis was really shocked, he never heard this kind of words coming from Harry, he never expected that “ who put these thoughts in your mind Harry? “

Harry shrugged “ no one. I know. Maybe if I am not sick, maybe if I am no more burden you will come back to me”

Louis again held Harry’s hand trying to convince him “ I am here harry, I am always here. It just my work”.

Harry then looked at Louis and said “ I know about the other man”

Louis frowned still looking at him “what man? “

Harry said “ someone sent me the photos Louis, please stop denying it”

Louis left his hand and he froze, someone sent him photos? What photos and how he had no idea about that

“what photos Harry? “ he asked nervously

Harry looked again at his lap “ you and him, eating lunch, laughing together “

Louis frowned deeper “I am only having lunch with Liam and Zayn and I am pretty sure you know who they are” he snapped but when he saw Harry flinching he calmed “ baby, where are those photos, can I see them? “

Harry shook his head “ they are at home?

“fuck, at home? When did you get them? “

Harry shrugged still refusing to meet his eyes “ I don’t know last week, the day I had my last seizure”

“  
"And you didn’t fucking telling me anything about it”

Harry didn’t talk

“ Harry, this is important, why didn’t you tell me? “

Harry shrugged again “ I don’t know, I was scared “

Louis tried to take a deep breath, he knew what that meant, someone was watching Louis, someone was watching Harry

“ scared of what? Harry that’s not true.. There is no other man”

Harry closed his eyes “ you didn’t come Louis” then he opened his eyes and they were glassy now “ you missed my surgery.. And I was so scared.. I needed you more than ever before, but you didn’t come you didn’t even call” he wiped his eyes “ I am so pathetic”

Louis was watching Harry and he was panicking, he was angry that who ever was threatening him was this close from Harry, he was angry that he missed Harry’s surgery and he could not even tell him  
why

“ you are not” Louis whispered softly

Harry snapped “ but i am” then he cried “ everyone was here, my family, my friends and I kept waiting for you. I wanted to be normal for you” then he snorted “ but I guess normal does not want  
me”

Louis returned to sit beside him “Harry I love you no matter what is wrong-“

“please just stop” Harry whispered, “ I hate it, I hate when you tell me that, I hate when you say you love how weak and stupid and pathetic I am”

Louis was out of words, everything he said sounded wrong in Harry’s mind “ baby what are you saying”

“ the truth” Harry said angrily “ everyone is trying to tell me it’s okay and I don’t know how are you trying to convince me or yourself ” he huffed “ it’s not okay, not okay Louis”

He rested his head on the pillow “ I am sick, I am always sick, since I was three Louis, do you know how it makes me feel? How I felt when I was younger? I was the freak that kids were scared to play with, I was the freak who was possessed, who peed himself, who caused himself concussions more than normal. I broke every bone I have Louis because of this fucking disease so it is not fucking okay” he was crying

Louis moved closer and hugged harry, Harry sniffing “ I hate it Louis, I wanted it to stop, I hate everything. now I hate my life”

Louis tighten his grip unable to say a single word, Harry “ and you weren’t there, and it didn’t work.  
It didn’t work”

“ stop” Louis said, he was crying too, he cupped Harry’s face so he could meet his eyes “ I am sorry Harry okay, I am sorry I wasn’t there for you but you can’t say this to me.. You can’t say you hate your life, you can’t say you are pathetic because you are not” harry sobbed shutting his eyes, Louis insisted “  
You are not, you are strong, you are beautiful, you are everything that matters to me. Harry please believe me when I tell you you are, there is no one else, there will never be anyone else. It’s you, it is always you”

“ you didn’t come Louis” harry sobbed

Louis took a deep breath “ look at me, Harry open your eyes and look at me” harry opened his eyes, he was breathing fast and Louis was scared if he was having a seizure or worse

“ I love you, with all my heart. There is no one else. I am sorry, I am so sorry for not being here for you. But I promise it will never happen again, I would trade the world to be with you harry but something happened”

Harry closed his eyes again and tried to have a deep breath

“ you are okay? “ Louis asked

Harry slowly nodded, Louis kissed him in his forehead “ I love you, I love you so much, God you have no idea”

Harry wrapped his hand around Louis and he buried his face in his neck “ I can’t do this anymore”

And Louis didn’t know what he meant exactly, but he didn’t want to know too “ shhh, shhh it’s okay” Louis whispered in his ear over and over again.

******

Louis didn’t want to leave harry, but he needed to see those photos harry talked about. He looked everywhere, in every place in the bed room, he knew Harry must had hid them but where.

Finally he knew where, he ran out of the room to the kitchen, and he opened the drawer where harry keep his drugs and he found brown envelope, he took it right away and he opened it and there were the photos of Louis sitting with a man from behind, it was photoshoped, those weren’t real, he remembered that day he was having dinner with Liam alone. It happened last month, so he was watched long time ago.

Louis spread the photos on the kitchen table and he looked at them, suddenly it hit him, Harry had a seizure when he saw those photos, the last continuous one, that it was the reason for the failure of the surgery, those photos were the reason they ruined Harry’s surgery, ruined Harry’s life.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for posting chapter 5 TWICE

Present time. 

Louis was still in Zayn’s house, he was lying on the bed, he had woken up two hours ago, and he still couldn’t move from the bed, just staring at the ceiling above him, lost in his thoughts and memories.

The door was opened and it was too late for him to pretend sleeping.

“ I thought you were still sleeping” a woman voice said  
Louis looked at her, Gigi, Zayn’s wife was standing looking at Louis folding her hands across her chest  
Then she walked and lied beside him on the bed where their heads were touching. She looked at the ceiling too saying

“ headache? “

He nodded and then she sighed “ breakfast is ready”

“ thanks” he said still looking up

“ do you wanna talk about it? “ she asked looking at him, he shook his head, he took another deep breath and then she printed a soft kiss in his head “ whenever you are ready okay? “

He again nodded. She said while leaving “ breakfast is ready, we are waiting”

She then left closing the door behind her.

Louis took a long deep breath then he sat slowly on the bed trying to ignore the horrible headache behind his eyes

“ why are you doing this” he heard a deep voice saying  
Louis snapped his head up, and he was there standing by the door leaning in the wall, his hand were buried in his pockets still wearing his long black coat. He was looking at Louis with sympathy and glassy eyes

“ you keep hurting yourself” harry said again

Louis looked down ignoring him

“ I am worried about you” harry whispered

Louis closed his eyes shut, again ignoring harry

“ please stop it, it’s not your fault” harry continued

“ leave me alone” Louis whispered

“ Louis please” Harry said louder

“ leave me alone” Louis yelled covering his ears, “ leave me alone” he yelled again.

When he opened his eyes again, he was alone in the room, no sign of Harry. No sign of any unusual thing.

*****

When Louis entered Harry’s room in the hospital, he didn’t expect to see Niall and Stan there, they were sitting with Harry talking and laughing, Louis smiled when he saw Harry laughing, he missed his laugh. He missed Harry

When Harry saw Louis his smile faded and he looked down escaping his eyes.

Louis greeted both Niall and Stan and kissed Harry on his cheek, Harry tried to smile

“how are you this morning? “ Louis asked looking at him with examining eyes

Harry nodded “ better”

Niall then said “ hay Tommo, we were just talking about the time you and him got lost at the middle of the way when you were visiting me in Ireland”

Harry chuckled, and Louis smiled “ why did you remember that? “

Niall was laughing “ I never forgot my friend, you were literally five minutes away from my house and you stayed in the road for four hours believing you were lost”

Harry laughed “ both our phones were died”

Louis laughed too “ yeah, was horrible. First time I felt helpless” but when he looked at Stan his smile ran away, Stan was literally watching Harry with a huge smile on his face. And again Louis became jealous

“ excuse me who are you again? “ Louis asked out of no where

Harry and Niall looked at Louis with a shocked face, while Stan answered shyly and also nervously “ I am Stan Locus.. I am a new teacher with Harry”

Louis nodded “ and you are here because? “ Louis asked dryly

“ lou” Harry whispered

But it was Niall who answered “ hay chill man, he is just a good friend with Harry, he was worried about him”

Stan was completely embarrassed, looking down at the ground, then slowly he stood up “ I think I should go”

Harry said frowning “ hay, please stay”

Stan smiled looking at Harry “no it is really okay, I have to go anyway, I have to meet my fiance”

And shit. Louis looked down realization hit him hard. Again he was jealous out of nothing, again he upsat Harry who was still trying to fix what he just did  
“ tell her hi for me”

Stan smiled and Niall stood up too “ okay, i’s better be gone too, see you soon Harry. And get out of her I hate hospitals”

Harry nodded waving his hand for them goodbye while they left the room.

Louis looked at harry who was glaring at him, Louis pretend innocence “ what? “

“why did you do that for? “ Harry asked he was angry, but also he looked weak

“ did what? “ Louis played on

“ oh God”Harry sighed shaking his head

“ okay, I don’t like him” Louis said

Harry looked at him more angrier “ what the hell? He is my friend I like him”

Louis said “ well I don’t like you like him”

Harry frowned “ fuck off, are you now trying to control who I am friend with? “

“ who said anything about controlling? “

Harry almost yelled “ so what do you call this? Why did you embarrass him this way? Why did you do that? “

Louis knew he was upsetting harry, but once he started he cannot stop “ well I told you I don’t like him, don’t expect me to like him just because you do”

Harry huffed “ I don’t care if you like him, I just want you to respect him”

“oh come on”

“ Well I don’t like Zayn, do you see me treating him like big shit everytime we meet? “

Louis frowned “ and why do you hate Zayn? “

Harry huffed in frustration “ oh my God, this isn’t about Zayn”

Louis also huffed “ okay harry, I don’t wanna fight with you over him too”

And Harry snapped his mouth shut, he stared at Louis for a moment then he looked at his lap and took a deep breath “ I am leaving tomorrow morning “

Louis took a deep breath and said “ yeah, I know”

“ I am going to mom”

“ yeah, that’s better”

And Harry snapped his head up to Louis, Louis realized what he said and what Harry understood “ because I am not gonna be there all the time to take care of you”

Harry slowly nodded his head and looked at his lap again

Louis closed his eyes in anger, what was the wrong with him today? Every word he said was making more damage in their relation.

He left his seat and sat beside Harry on the bed, it was when he saw Harry wiping his tear away

“ that didn’t come right, Harry.. I want you to come home. But I won’t be there” harry didn’t move

“ I will come to see you everyday, I might stay the night with you ”

Harry snorted sarcastically and it hurt Louis, he bit his lower lip “ I wish you could believe me harry, but once this case is over, everything will be okay”

Harry didn’t respond at the start then he said “ who are you kidding?” then he looked at Louis “ once this case is over, there will be another one, then another one and another and another. Fine you are addicted to your job. Everyone sees that except you”

“ Harry.. “

“I don’t care”

Louis sighed “ you didn’t hear what I want to say”

“I don’t care Louis. I don’t fucking care”

Louis frowned “why are you angry like that? “

Harry just shook his head but he didn’t talk, he just stayed silent folding his hand across his chest. 

****  
Louis was there to take Harry with Anne to Anne’s house, Harry was in the wheelchair and Louis was pushing him, Harry was awfully silent, completely devastated and he didn’t answer anyone who tried to talk to him, except Dr Grimshaw who came and told them what to do and what line of the drugs Harry should take. He gave them all the precautions for the next two weeks and he told them that Harry might or might not have a seizure soon, and if it happened he wanted them to protect his head as much as they could, so he adviced Harry not to stand for long and if he felt any funny feeling he should tell them immediately.

When Louis helped Harry to sit in the car at the passenger seat, he noticed a car that he suspected was following him since morning. Now he was sure it was following him he tried to act calm and cool, and he started his car trying to have a better look through his rear mirror

“ are you staying for dinner Louis? “ Anne asked

Louis frowned “ oh not today, I can’t “ but he didn’t miss how Harry tensed beside him “ I will come at night to check on you”

Harry didn’t respond, so Louis looked at him “ are you okay? “ Was it a seizure?

But Harry nodded his head. Louis was barely paying attention to the conversation Anne tried to open during the way, he was focusing with the car that kept following him, but once he was close to the house the car disappeared. Louis tried to look for it but it vanished

“ are you looking for something? “ Harry asked

Louis shook his head “ no, baby. It’s fine”

Louis helped Harry to get inside the house, be asked him if he wanted to go to his room and have some rest, Harry refused he said he got sick from lying down and he wanted to sit a little with them in the living room. 

Once they were settled Anne excused to make them some tea while Harry and Louis sat on the couch silently

“ I guess I need a dog again “ Harry said

Louis looked at him “ again? Are you sure? “

Harry had a dog since he was twelve, but when he turned twenty two the dog died and Harry was very depressed and sad, he could not stand losing another one so he refused to get a new one. It happened four years ago now

Harry sighed “ it helps, and I am alone most of the time. At least it could warn me not to hurt myself “

Louis was watching him, he was still not looking at him  
Louis finally nodded “ okay, i will get you new one”

“thanks”

Louis smiled, then his smile faded when he noticed that Harry was crying again “ why are you crying”

Harry shrugged “ I don’t know. I feel sad”

Louis was waiting for something like this, his doctor warned them about it, he said Harry might be depressed because of the failure of the surgery, it was like a side effect and they have to deal with it with patience and calmness.

Louis moved closer and wrapped his hand around his shoulder “ well, don’t be sad. Let’s just pretend that those two weeks didn’t happen okay”

Harry looked at him, Louis smiled “ there was no surgery, nothing happened at all”

Harry looked in front again thinking about Louis’s words  
“how is your hand? “

Harry looked at his weak hand and shrugged “ I will start the treatment in two days, I am trying not to use it”

Louis frowned “ well you should use it, we need to make it strong again”

Harry sighed “ it exhausts me”

Louis patted his shoulder and said “ it won’t be easy but we have to”

Then Louis said looking down “ Harry, I saw the photos “

Harry tensed again, but Louis tighten his hand around him “ do you believe them? “

They hadn’t talk about the photos yet, Louis didn’t want to upset Harry but he knew he should say anything  
Harry looked at him “ you said it wasn’t real”

“so you believe me right? “

Harry nodded, Louis nodded too and he kisses his lips “ that’s good, I want you to trust me in this”

Harry sighed and said “ would you at least tell me what is this? Who sent them and why? “

Louis was going to talk but Anne showed so he stopped and instead he smiled at Anne “ thanks Anne”  
and he left harry and took the tray from her.

*****  
Harry changed his clothes and he was standing in front of the mirror fixing his hair, Louis was in the bed holding his phone texting Zayn about what just happened

Suddenly he heard the sound of shattered Glass and he jumped up looking at Harry who was staring at the ground where his perfume was spelled everywhere and the bottle was broken

“ it’s okay” Louis said getting closer and he started to remove the broken pieces

Harry didn’t move, he didn’t say a word, Louis looked at him and Harry was still glaring at the ground blankly, breathing fast

“ shit” Louis threw the glass again at the ground and stood by Harry looking at him, Harry was having an absence seizure, where he suddenly stops what he is doing and stare blankly at no where, it usually takes less than ten seconds

Then Harry looked at Louis and the at the ground “ what happened? “

Louis sighed “ you just had an absent seizure”

“I did? “ he looked at Louis shocked

Louis nodded “ come on, let’s sit, I will clean up”

Harry sighed “ that was my favourite perfume”

Louis smiled “ it’s okay”

Harry sat on the bed watching Louis cleaning the mess and then he said “ at least the room will smell good”

Harry tried to smile, then he said “ I didn’t expect they will come this fast”

Louis threw the glasses at the basket and sat beside Harry “ yeah, your brain is still under trauma.  
That was a big surgery you had Harry, you can’t blame your body for being shocked and weak”

Harry nodded “ yeah, you are probably right”

Then he looked at Louis “ will you tell me now what is going on? “

And of course not, he just had a seizure, so he just smiled “ how about you have some rest, and when I come at night we talk”

Harry sighed and then he nodded “ but promise me”

Louis nodded “ I will tell you”

“promise me you will come”

Louis looked at him “ I will baby, I will” then he kissed him on his lips and then he stood up

“ get some rest”

Harry nodded, but once Louis was in front of the door Harry said “ are we okay? “

Louis was shocked, he looked at Harry who was looking back at him “ yes, we are”

Harry nodded and then he lied on the bed.

It hurt Louis that Harry thinks they were not okay, it hurt him that he couldn't tell him what was going on, and it hurt him badly that harry was questioning their relation and how he was unsure.

Louis phone went off, and it was Zayn

“yes Zayn”

Zayn said “ he did it again. He killed someone”


	8. Chapter 8

When Louis moved to the crime he didn’t expect to see what he saw, the victim this time was killed by poison. 

Wasn’t stabbed, wasn’t strangles, wasn’t beaten up or shot. Instead it was injected with poison and the killer didn’t forget to print his signature on the victim body, a skull penetrated by an arrow.

The victim was young woman and Louis figured he had seen her before, but he wasn’t sure where exactly.

He was standing watching the crime scene while the medics transported the body on the body bag and took it on the stretcher.

“ Emily Mason, twenty eight years old, divorced. mother of a little girl. She is a teacher” Zayn said

Louis looked at him, Zayn finished “ a friend of Harry”

“ oh my God. I knew I saw her before, Fuck”

Liam then joined them “ no eye witness, the cameras show a car stopped and threw the body and then left. No one reported her missing, I asked them to trace her phone and see who was the last one she contacted too”

Louis looked at Liam “ and the car? “

Liam shrugged “ as usual, was stolen but we are still looking for it”

Louis nodded rubbing his chin “ there is something wrong, something is different “

Zayn “ like what? “

Louis shrugged “ I don’t know, but this is not his style, he likes to torture the victims, they always die slowly and painfully, but this.. It is like he didn’t want to touch the victim even his signature that is crafted in her body is not his regular, like he was shaking or.. In a rush”

“ someone copies him?” Liam asked

Louis shrugged deep thinking “ maybe”

Zayn “ this case is driving me crazy, he is playing games with us”

Louis looked at them “ he is watching us too”

Zayn said “ the car you told me about this morning belongs to a teenage girl, are you sure it was following you”

Louis huffed “ he steals cars, he sends us threats, he sent harry some fucked up photos. He is like this close from us and yet we have no idea who he could be”

Zayn’s phone went off, he took few steps away to answer

Liam then looked at Louis “ how is he taking it? Harry and the photos? “

Louis shook his head “ he says he trusts me, but he needs an explanation”

Liam nodded “ that’s awful. I guess he needs protection too like Gigi”

Louis nodded “ yeah, I know”

Then they heard Zayn saying loud “ again? Are you sure it’s him?” then he looked at Liam and Louis, he said “ fuck, we are on our way”

Then he ended the call and they saw him squeezing the phone in his hand that his knuckles turned white “ there is another body”

****

At the station, Louis, Liam and Zayn were in their office, watching the photos of the two victims again, they hadn’t leave the office since the morning, Louis called Harry and told him he wouldn't be able to come. He pretended he didn’t listen to Harry’s disappointed voice but he had to stay, two victims at one day was too much.

“ maybe he didn’t want to kill her” Liam said watching a photo of the dead woman Zayn looked at him “ what do you mean? “

Liam “ the other victim, the man, he is his style, torturing, killing slowly, that is his style, he took his time crafting his signature on his body.. But the woman.. It the complete opposite “

Louis was thinking sitting on his desk “ wrong place and wrong time”

Liam looked at him “maybe”

Louis sighed “ she saw something? He had to kill her. So he is someone she might know? “

Zayn nodded “ no one reported her missing”

Louis nodded “ did they tell her family? “

Liam “ they did, her mom is coming to take care of the little girl”

Louis shook his head “ ten victims and we got nothing.. This is very frustrating “

Then the door was knocked, and a mid thirty guy with a glasses entered, he stood in front of Louis “ you asked about the last call the victim did”

Louis nodded “ which one? “

The man put a paper in front of Louis “ I got them two”

Then Louis looked at the paper and then at the man “ are you sure? “ he was shocked

The man nodded, the Liam and Zayn took a look at the paper

“ they are friends”

Louis stood up “ we have to talk to him” Liam nodded and started to wear his jacket, then Louis looked at Zayn “ Aren’t you coming? “

Zayn just shook his head “ no, I am staying"

Louis frowned “ what is with both of you? “

Zayn looked at him “what? “

Louis “ you are avoiding him or something? You didn’t even met him since he was at the hospital and you were there every day”

Zayn sighed “ later then”

Louis raised his brows “ so there is something “

Zayn ignored Louis and walked to sit on his office “ later Louis” Louis looked at Liam who was as confused as he was, then they left.

****

In front Anne’s house, Louis and Liam were in front of the door, Louis was on the phone

“ Gemma open the door.. I don’t wanna startle your mom or Harry, so move your ass and open the door”

Then he ended the call, he heard Liam giggles and then Liam said “ such a relation you had with  
Gemma”

Louis snorted “she is too curious “

“ can you blame her? "

Louis gae him a pointed look , Liam shrugged “ you hardly talk”

Then the door was opened and Gemma walked inside giving them her back “ he is sleeping upstairs, he was angry at you.. The usual. And he had another seizure”

Louis gasped “ what?! “

Gemma then looked at them “ Liam? What are you doing here? “

Louis interrupted “ is he okay? “

Gemma looked at him and sighed “ I don’t know, he didn’t look hurt.. He is not sleeping though”

Louis took a deep breath, Gemma said “ we called the doctor and he said he was expecting one, so it’s okay. I mean not okay but.. He is Harry”

Louis looked down shaking his head, Liam finally said “ we can talk to him later”

Louis shook his head “ no, we need to end it now”

Gemma said “ it’s three in the morning, anything can wait”

“ not this one, please go and wake him up” Louis said moving to the living following by Liam, he didn’t give Gemma the time to talk, so finally she obliged and walked up the stairs.

They sat in silence, Louis was deep thinking and he looked anxious, nervous and angry

“ the surgery didn’t fix anything, right? “

Louis shook his head “ I believe it made things worse. He is very depressed and always stressed. This morning he had an absence one, and later he had another one. I wish all of this ends, he doesn’t deserve this”

Liam nodded “ he doesn’t.. I am sure he will be okay”

“ Louis? “ Harry’s voice came

Louis and Liam looked and there was Harry supported by Gemma, when Louis saw how Harry can barely stand, he ran and took his hand from Gemma and be sat him softly at the couch, he looked at Gemma angrily look, how could she bring him when he is this weak

Gemma shrugged “ you didn’t give me a choice”

Harry was closing his eyes, Louis looked at him “ headache? “

Harry slowly nodded

Gemma “ I will bring him his meds” she said feeling guilty now. Then she walked away

Harry opened his eyes “ hi Liam”

Liam smiled “ hi Harry, how are you feeling? “

Harry nodded “ I will be okay”

Then he looked at Louis “ so, what is the matter? “

Louis sighed “ Emily Mason”

Harry frowned “ what about her? “

Liam was the one who talked since he saw how Louis was struggling “ have you heard from her? “

Harry looked at him frowning and confused “ yeah, she was actually coming to see me this morning,  
I was wondering why she didn't "

Liam nodded “ have she called you? “

“yes”

“when? “ it was Louis

Harry looked at him “ in the morning “

“when Harry, I was with you all the morning “

“ at the hospital “

“when? I didn’t leave your side” Louis asked impatiently   
“I don’t know, maybe you were having a phone call, what is wrong with her anyway? “

Louis looked down, Harry “ is she okay? Is something happened to her? “

Liam nodded “ she was murdered harry this morning, you were the last one she contacted you”

Harry was staring at Liam, then he looked at Louis “ what does it mean? Is she dead? “

Louis nodded looking at him, Harry shook his head “but how, she called me this morning, she was coming to see me”

Louis put his hand in Harry’s and he squeezed softly “ I am so sorry”

Harry closed his eyes and covered it with his other hand “She has a little girl” then he looked at Louis “ are you sure? “

Louis nodded again feeling so sorry, Liam said “ what did she said through the phone? “

Harry sighed trying not to cry “ the regular, asked how I was, then she said she made me a pie and she will leave her daughter with her boyfriend and she will come to say hi”

Then he tensed and looked at Louis “ oh my God, Stan.. Is he okay? He is not hurt right? “

Louis frowned “ why? “

Harry said frantically “ he is her boy friend, oh God.. Don’t tell me he is murdered too”

Louis shook his head “no, no he is not.. Listen I need you to give me his address and I will check him myself okay? “

Harry nodded and then he looked in front wiping his tears.

“ I got you your meds” Gemma said and obviously she was standing there long ago. She gave her brother his medicine and some water, she shared a look with Louis before taking the glass of water from Harry

“ I think he needs some rest Louis”

Louis nodded “ yeah, I will take him to his bed”

And he supported Harry and he took his to his room up stairs.

When he put Harry on his bed and covered him, Harry grasped LOUIS’S wrist, Louis looked at him and Harry was looking back with a glassy eyes

“ what is going on? “

Louis sighed and sat beside Harry on the bed “ everything will be okay, don’t worry about it”

Harry sighed “ someone I knew died Louis, it’s not okay, and you are hiding something, people sent me photos and emails so I need to know”

Louis “ I know baby b... Wait emails? “

Harry nodded, then he adjusted his position when he leaned his back on the headframe, he grabbed his phone and he opened it looking for something then he gave it to Louis

“ I received this last night” Louis took it with a heart skipping beats “ I thought it was a kind of prank, you know from a troubled kid or something”

Louis literally gasped.

What he saw was really scary, was a true threat, was an opened warning

It was a realistic painting of Harry, lying on the ground with closed eyes as if sleeping peacefully, wearing his black coat, black skinny jeans, brown boat. He was folding his hand against his chest, he looked sleeping except, blue bruise around his neck like a blue rope, and Harry was having a blue lips in this photo. When he realized that this was a painting of dead Harry he gasped.

“ why? “ then he cleared his voice “ why haven’t you tell me about this? “

Harry shrugged “ I thought it’s a prank”

Louis looked again at the painting “ fuck Harry.. “ then he looked at Harry eyes glassy, when Harry saw his eyes he frowned “ hay, it’s just a painting, I am here”

Louis nodded and he locked Harry’s phone and gave it back to him.

“ something bad is happening? “

Louis huffed “ I didn’t want you to know. I was trying to keep you save and away but.. “ his voice cracked when he said “ he knows about you”

Harry “ who is he? “

Louis took a deep breath and he held Harry’s hand “ I will keep you save, I promise “

Harry nodded “ I trust you okay, I trust you but I need to know”

“ a serial killer, we have been after him for three months now”

Harry nodded still waiting

“ ten victims had been murdered awfully, Emily was the last one”

Harry looked at him with dread, Louis pressed his hand harder trying to convince him that he will be okay “ he sent Zayn and Liam threats.. “

Harry nodded “ and you? “

Louis tried to avoid Harry’s eyes when he said “ I was kidnapped “

Harry gasped and he was the one who squeezed Louis’s hand tightly this time “ when? “

Louis finally looked at Harry “ at your surgery”

“ oh my God” Harry gasped again covering his mouth with his hand

“ I wanted to tell you, I wanted to give you the right excuse but I was still worried about you”

“ oh my god, and I was a dick to you, you were.. Oh god did he hurt you? “ Harry looked at him with a worried eyes

“ it’s nothing, just a couple hit on the head “

“ Oh God” harry whispered looking at Louis’ head   
Louis sighed “ i am fine now, don’t worry please, he just took me for couple of hours and then he set me free”

“but why? “

“ he wanted to tell us he is very close, that he is watching us”

“so he kidnapped you during my surgery and then set you free? “

Louis nodded, Harry “ he knew about my surgery? “

Louis nodded worriedly now, he knew there were few people who knew about the surgery before it happened, Harry here has a point.

“ what about the others? “ Harry asked

Louis tried to act calm after figuring the new information “ he ruined Liam’s car, and sent flowers to Gigi”

“ fuck, and sent me those photos and mails”

Louis nodded, Harry rested his back again but he was deep thinking “ Louis I guess he is someone from the school”

Louis looked at him shockingly, Harry “ the email address he sent me the mails is my job email, I mean his for only work, that’s why I thought it was just a joke from a kid”

Louis said feeling the blood running cold in his veins “ Harry, the email could be known by anyone”

Harry shook his head “ I have just changed my mail four months ago, remember? When the other was hacked? You were the one who made it for me”

Louis nodded and now he remembered, he looked at Harry “ so no one knew about this mail? “

Harry shook his head squeezing Louis’s hand again “ only my students, my co-workers.. No one else I believe”

Louis closed his eyes, trying to think clearly, he didn’t know a simple talk to Harry will provide him with this much of information, maybe a teacher with a painting gift

“ Niall and Stan, do you think they are in danger? “ 

Harry asked

“ why? “

Harry shrugged “ Stan is Emily’s boyfriend and he lives with Niall now so, please they just be okay” “ he is Niall’ flatmate? “

Harry nodded “ yeah, his flat has been sunk recently, something about plumbing so Niall offered him a room”

Louis nodded “ okay, don’t worry about them, I will pay them a visit, I will protect them if I have to”

Harry nodded “ okay, okay” then he looked at him “ he got you once”

“will never happen again”

Harry closed his eyes trying to control his shaking hands “ I can’t lose you now”

Louis shook his head “ you will never”

“I am so sorry, I am so sorry Louis God I feel stupid I was blaming you I was angry at you and you were.. “

“hush now, you didn’t know, I didn’t tell you I couldn’t risk it. So I understand you, it is totally understandable”

Harry sighed and looked at Louis “ I love you, I love you so much I can’t imagine my life without you” he started to cry

“ don’t cry baby please “

“I was going to file a divorce”

Louis looked at him shockingly, Harry nodded “ I was going to do it, I kept telling myself I forgave you a lot but every time you hurt me again” he looked down “ I told Zayn about it, and he fought with me really hard”

Louis was looking at him eyes full of tears now “ you wanted to leave me”

Harry cried “ I was angry, and sad. I am still sad Louis, everything is killing me slowly. And you are not here. I mean what do you want from this job? You were kidnapped for God sake, if you died I will never ever forgive you Louis I swear to God” he was crying hard now, Louis hugged him tightly and he kissed his hair “ don’t, don’t do this please, don’t leave me Harry, I will stop” he then looked at him cupping his face between his hands “ I will stop, I promise you once this case I over I will resign”

Harry shook his head “you will not do this”

“for you, I will for you. I promise but don’t leave me Harry”

Harry looked at him “ you will? “

Louis nodded kissing Harry’s lips hard and then he hugged him again.  
****  
Harry finally slept between Louis’s arms, Louis left him and be walked out of the room. Once he was downstairs, he saw Liam Was talking to Gemma

“ let’s go”

Liam and Gemma looked at him, they must had noticed his eyes because Liam asked “you are okay? “

Louis nodded looking down “ yeah, yeah.. I just. We have to go”

Liam nodded, Gemma smiled “ don’t worry he will be okay”

She meant harry, Louis nodded “ yeah, I will be back soon”  
Gemma “ you better have your own key, i am not waking up again” then she walked to bring him a spare key, he was at the door when she gave him the key and they they left.

At the car Liam asked “so where to? “

Louis sighed “ I wish I don’t go anywhere”

Liam nodded “ are you sure you are okay? “

Louis nodded “ we have to see Niall and Stan”

Liam frowned “ why? “

“Stan is Emily’s boyfriend “

Liam nodded “ isn’t he the one who was at the hospital with Niall”

“ yup” he said it huffing

Liam looked at him “ and? “

“I hate him”

Liam smiled “he loves Harry”

Louis looked at him frowning, Liam shrugged “ you only hate people who you think loves Harry”

“ is that so? “ Louis asked raising a brow

“ yup”

“that’s bullshit, you love Harry and I still live you”

Liam smiled “ oh you love me, how sweat” he teased “ but let’s be honest here, alongside the three of us you hate anyone gets near harry”

Louis frowned deeper although he knew it was the truth “ three? “

Liam nodded looking a the road “ Zayn, Niall and i”

Louis crossed his arms on his chest and huffed “not true”

Liam smiled wider “ anything keeps you sleep at night”

Louis chuckled “ I do get jealous easily “

Liam snorted “ fastest one ever”

Louis shrugged then he sighed liked down “ he wanted to file a divorce”

Liam speed his head to Louis, Louis continued “obviously he had enough from the way I am treating him  
Liam sighed looking at the road again “ he loves you, he won’t do this”

Louis nodded “ he won’t, but he thought about it”

Liam “ everything will be okay when this case ends”

Louis rubbed his face “ yeah, it will”


	9. Chapter 9

Louis and Liam didn’t go anywhere after leaving Harry, it was too early to see Niall so instead they decided to return to the office. Louis told Liam about the mail Harry received and about the possible suspects. they decided to go to Harry after meeting Niall so he can tell them who are the teachers or students or any person who works at the school with talent.

******  
Niall didn’t expect to see Louis at his doorsteps at early morning. He looked already awful and exhausted, it looked like he didn’t sleep at night

“ morning Niall” Louis said when the door was opened   
Niall frowned and looked between Louis and Liam  
“ morning.. Is harry okay? “ he said looking at Louis   
Louis nodded “he is fine, can we talk inside”

Niall nodded and let them in, he closed the door behind them while they stopped waiting for his direction

He said nervously “ please have a seat” and he walked them to the living room

“ i believe you heard about what happened? “ Louis asked looking around searching for Stan

Niall sighed “ you mean Emily? Yeah, I heard”

“ where is Stan? “ Louis asked out of nowhere

Niall “ he is not here. He had to take Ella to her grandmother”

“ Ella? “Liam asked

Niall answered sadly“ Emily’s daughter “

“you mean she was here? “

He nodded “ Emily came here yesterday, and she left her daughter with me, I mean with Stan but he was not home, so she left her with me and then when he came back we heard about the news, she stayed the night and when the morning came he took her to her grandma”

Louis and Liam looked at each other, Liam asked Niall “ so Emily called you? “

Niall shook his head “ no, she showed up without a phone call, she is always doing that, Stan is her boyfriend and he practically lives here so..”

Louis nodded “ and she said where she was going? “

Niall took a deep breath “ yes, to Harry. She said she will pay him a quick visit and then she will get back to take her daughter, she seemed anxious a little though, guess she was worried about Harry or something “

Louis didn't comment but Liam said  
“ and you didn’t hear from her anymore? “

Niall shook his head “ I didn’t, but I guess she called Stan or something, he didn’t looked surprised seeing ella”

Liam nodded “ since when he lives here with you? “

Niall shrugged thinking “ I don’t know three to four months”

Louis frowned “ and he didn’t fix his house? “

“ he is working on it, but it takes time you know”

Louis sighed “anyway, I just wanted to check on you. Harry was worried about you after what happened “

Niall nodded, he took a shattered breath before asking “ you are working on her case, she was murdered right? “

Louis didn’t miss the tune of Niall’s voice “ yeah she was”

Niall shrugged wiping his tears “ who could do that? She was very nice to everyone “

Louis didn’t talk, but then they heard the sound of the door opened and closed, then the sound of keys and then shuffles.

Niall looked at them “ he is here”

Then Stan showed, once he saw them he froze in his place looking between them with shocked eyes   
Then he looked at Niall for an explanation  
Niall said “ they are here to check on us, they are working on Emily’s case”

Stan didn’t spell a word, he just looked down at the ground

Liam was the one who started “we are deeply sorry”

“ don’t need your sorry ”Stan snapped raising his head looking at them with a challenged look “ I need you to find the fucking bastard who killed her “

Liam and Louis was shocked, but they also understood the man sarrow, he was grieving and he needed someone to put his rage on.

“ we are working on it, we promise, we are very close”   
Liam said still trying

“ are you? Because they were ten victims and you still ways behind him”

“ not anymore” Louis said now wondering where did he heard that

Stan looked at him still carrying the same angry challenged look, he took a moment before he said “ I hope you are”, but Louis didn’t like the look. He kept staring back at him and somehow he felt this man was not easy.

Liam said “ did she call you? I mean Emily, did she call you last night? “

Stan finally broke the eye contact with Louis and he looked at Liam, and then he shook his head  
Louis frowned and he saw Niall confused too “ I thought she was your girlfriend “

Stan nodded “ she is.. . I mean she was”

Liam “ then why she didn’t? “

Both three men were waiting for the answer, Stan took a deep breath before saying “ we had an argument last night. So I guess she was still angry”

“so you hadn’t heard from her all the day” Louis asked getting closer to him

He looked at Louis, he then shook his head ” I mean, I know I should have called her, but I thought she needed her space”

“ didn’t even text you? “

Stan shook his head, Louis still walking closer to him “ she didn’t tell you she was leaving her daughter ? “

Stan took a few steps back and shook his head again “  
I didn’t even know she was here, I saw her when I returned home”

“when? “ Louis again

Stan shrugged “ can’t remember “

“ after midnight “Niall said

Louis looked at Niall and then back at Stan “ so when did you got the call? “

Stan sighed “ I was at my home. Fixing some stuff. So when I got the phone I was still there. It was nearly at seven pm”

Liam nodded, Stan sighed “I guess I broke down or something, I remember staying there, I don’t actually remember for how long”

Louis nodded “ did you have your car? “

Stan looked at him “ I feel like you are interrogating me? “

Louis shook his head “ no, we are just trying to link the lines together so we can have the full story”

Stan nodded “ all I know that she was suppose to visit your husband”

Louis said “ how did you know that? “

Stan answered with smirking “ he called me, when she didn’t show he called me asking about her”

Louis nodded, Niall felt how tense the air had become so he faked a cough “ Stan needs rest guys, can we do this anytime later”

Louis nodded but then he said “ one more question “

Stan looked at him waiting, Louis “ what do you teach at school”

Stan took a moment before saying “ history ”

****

“ I don’t trust him” Liam said while driving his car

Louis “ told you I hate him”

Liam parked his car in front of Anne’s house, they got inside and after drinking the tea Anne made. Harry called form the dinning table. 

Louis walked with Liam to him and there were Harry and Zayn sitting together folding three papers filled with names. 

Louis took a look at the paper and looked at Harry “ that’s all? “

Harry was rubbing his forehead “ yes”

Louis looked at the papers again holding one by his hands and looking deeply at it “ are you sure? “

Harry sighed “ yes Louis I am sure. I have been working there for five years now I know everybody”

Liam was looking too “ no students? “

Harry looked at him frowning “ they are just kids, there is no way they could be serial killers”

Louis “ and the art teachers? “

Zayn gave him a paper “ here”

Louis took the paper and there were only three names, then Louis looked at Harry “ she was an art teacher?”

Harry nodded and didn’t talk, Louis “ and the other two? “

Harry shook his head “ not a chance, both good and lovely.. Maybe naive too” then he sighed “ Louis, maybe I am wrong, maybe people knows my email, I think this is a mistake.. I mean all this people I know, I love them, they are like a family. You’ve met all of them last year when they visited after breaking your leg.. You know half of them”

Louis looked at harry, he then rubbed his face “ it’s nothing baby, we are just using the piece of info you gave us”

Harry nodded and looked back at the papers “ you know painting is a gift” then he looked at Louis “ you don’t have to be an art teacher if you are gifted”

Louis sighed nodding “ I know”

“ have you seen anyone painting like that before? “ Liam asked after a moment of silence 

Harry looked at him “ you mean like this”

Harry looked at his dead painting that was printed now on paper. 

Liam nodded while Louis tried his best not to look “ no” harry answered

Then he huffed in frustration “ I still believe it is a mistake” he left his seat “ I know all of this people they are my family”

“ not all of them” Louis said

“ all of them” Hart repeated

Louis shook his head “ the school has received three new teachers this year”

Harry looked t him with wide opened eyes “ what do you mean? “

Louis “ I mean you don’t know all of them”

Harry frowned “ I know them, they are good people, god this is my mistake”

Liam and Zayn felt the air suddenly became tense, they looked at each other and Liam shrugged

“ I told you, it just a routine procedure, we will just look through the people, maybe we find something “

Harry shook his head “ it’s a mistake”

Louis groaned in frustration “ it’s not about you Harry, ten people had died”

Then Harry fell silent. 

Louis massaged his forehead “I am sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you but you are making thing harder”

Harry just shook his head in disbelief “ they are my family, I can’t believe i suspected them I can’t believe I helped you making the list”

Louis snapped again “ stop calling them family. Stan is not your fucking family “

Harry looked at Louis eyes opened wide “ Stan? Oh my god. You suspect him now, please “

Then he shook his head angrily, and he rushed to the dinning table and he took the papers and started tearing them up

Louis grasped his hand furiously “ what the hell are you doing? “

Harry was more than furious, he was fuming “ I can’t believe you are doing all this because of him” harry pushed Louis hard on his chest. 

Now Liam and Zayn stood up too when they saw how angry they both looked

Louis glared at harry he could n't believe what Harry juat did because of Stan “ why are you being so defensive? “

Harry yelled “ I had enough” he was shaking now from anger “ stop doing this, stop judging the people I know. Fuck you are so jealous that you believe blindly that Stan is a murderer”

“Harry, calm down” it was Zayn

Then Harry glared at him “ have you seen this? This is what I am talking about”

“ you didn’t just do that? “ Louis yelled, he was very shocked 

Harry looked at him “ I had enough”

Louis chuckled “ and I had enough too, stop being like this.. Not everything is about you”

“ you are being ridiculous”

“and you’re being unbelievable “

Liam finally said “ enough”

Then Anne and Gemma showed up too looking between all of them worriedly

Louis looked around him then looked at Harry “I can’t believe you Harry, I can’t believe you are this arrogant”

“ you are suspecting my friends Louis” Harry gritted his teeth 

Louis yelled again “ since when he is even a friend? How come you never mentioned him “

“ simply Louis, because you weren’t there” harry still yelling

Anne said watching her son “ baby, please”

Louis ignored all the worried eyes, he refused to believe harry was still bringing this topic again

“ such a coward you are” Louis said then he looked at zayn and Liam he took a deep breath “ fine  
Harry, I will put him out of my mind but if it turned out it was him, if he hurt my friends.. If he hurt  
Niall. I will never forgive you”

Then silence. 

“ get out”  
Harry said as calm as he could ever be. 

Louis was confused at the start, but when he saw the look on Harry’s face he knew there was no use of more talking

“ you won’t blame me for your failure Louis, I won’t let you do this”

Louis was going to talk, Harry stopped him “ leave this case”

Louis was shocked “ what? “

Harry sighed rubbing his face “ you heard me. If you want this marriage to continue leave this case”

“Harry, don’t be ridiculous” Liam said

Harry ignored “ it’s me or the case"

Louis didn’t talk, but he swore he heard Anne’s loud gasp

Then Harry gave them his back and walked away back to his room.


	10. Chapter 10

Present time, 

Zayn stopped his car in front of the pub in the morning, he looked beside him where Louis was sitting looking at his hands

“ are you sure you wanna go home? “ Zayn asked softly 

Louis looked at him and just smiled, then he was ready to leave when Zayn grasped his hand “ I am always here.. If you want anything okay? “

Louis didn’t drop his smile, his fake smile. He nodded and said “ I know” then he left the car headed directly to his car that he had to leave last night when Zayn took him.

Louis parked his car in front of his house. When he left the car and was walking to his front stairs, he almost froze, then he looked down and climbed his stairs saying “ go away”

Liam was sitting on the stairs obviously waiting for him, he stood up when he saw Louis and he didn’t talk, he just waited. 

Louis opened the door and Liam was following, but Louis suddenly stopped and looked at him glaring “ I said go away”

“ no” Liam said

“ what the hell? What are you doing here? “

Liam sighed “ we need to talk”

Louis snorted “ yeah, right”

“ stop doing this, stop.. Why? It has been a year Louis and you-“

“shut up” Louis yelled louder that Liam flinched .

Liam then looked at him “ this has to stop, stop doing this to yourself”

“ doing what! “

“destroying your life, treat yourself like this. You are not gonna survive this ,one day we will find you dead poisoned by alcohol”

Louis glared at him and he didn’t talk then he pushed him away, Liam was shocked he touched his chest where Louis pushed him and he was looking at Louis

“ how is this solving anything? “

Louis was still glaring at Liam, his balled his fists and he was ready to attack again “ leave me alone Liam, I don’t wanna hurt you”

Liam walked closer “ hurt me. Come on if this gonna make you feel better. if this gonna make us better then do this hurt me. But this is not how you work your shit out”

Louis yelled “ it’s my shit, why do you give a fuck? “

Liam yelled back “ I do, I care about you, I need to help you”

Louis snorted “ will it make you feel better? “

Liam stopped talking at the start, he looked at Louis and suddenly his eyes were glassy “ no”

Louis tried to hold his tears too. 

Liam continued “ it will not make me feel better, nothing is going to make me feel better about what happened. I know it was my fault and you got every right to blame me. But you can’t keep doing this to yourself. You have to be better? “

Louis wiped his tears “ why? Why do I have? “

Liam frowned “ you still- “

“they are dead” Louis stopped him before he said anything

Liam frowned deeper “ they are not”

“they are” Louis yelled

Liam shook his head, then he walked closer “ Louis, Harry is-“

“ go home” Louis said and he entered his house slamming the door behind him.

***

Harry opened his door for Niall, he was waiting for him at Anne’s house, and he was alone. 

“Morning Hazza” Niall said once the door was opened   
Harry tried to smile “ good morning Niall, come on in”

Niall entered closing the door behind him

“thanks for coming “ Harry said

Niall looked at him smiling “ you promised me a good breakfast”

Harry laughed “ yeah, yeah.. Let’s make it”

Niall followed harry to the kitchen “ where is the people who lives here? “

Harry sighed “ they had to come back to Cheshire”

Niall frowned “ everything is okay? “

Harry shook his head “ my grandma is in the hospital. They had to go. Gemma is coming back tomorrow to babysit me”

Niall looked at Harry then he said “ she is not”

Harry huffed putting the pan outside the board “yeah? “

Niall “ okay, how is your granny? “

Harry shrugged, he seemed really upset “ she will be better”

“okay, why are you angry? “

Harry huffed in frustration again “I should be there with them, they shouldn’t worry about me. But here I am stuck at home... I don’t think I can stay alone anyway”

he looked at his hand and it was twitching, Niall noticed but didn’t say anything

Harry brought the eggs from the fridge and then he looked at Niall “ I feel useless”

“well that’s bullshit”

Harry snorted “ yeah, really? Like what I can do? I can’t even leave the home alone Niall.. Look how useless I am? “ he snapped at him

Niall didn’t break the eye contact, and Harry sighed “ I am sorry”

Niall “ it’s nothing “

Harry nodded and started to make the breakfast   
“ you still didn’t fix things with louis”

Harry snorted again “ as if he cares”

“you was hard with him Harry, you can’t ask him to pick”

“ I didn’t mean it. I just.. I wanted him to stay away from my friends”

Niall nodded “ i understand that, but.. “

“no buts Niall, he didn’t even care. next thing he is at Stan’s house searching for anything to prove his point”

Niall looked at him shocked “how did you know? “

Harry sighed “ Stan called me.. And I guess he is upset”

Niall shook his head “ he knows it’s not your fault “

Harry shook his head whisking the egg angrily “ he is my husband.. And it’s my fault. I made the fucking list remember? “

Niall nodded “ I remember, but you didn’t do anything wrong, someone threatens you. People are dying if I was Louis I would do the same”

Harry looked at him with anger, he shook his head and continued whisking the egg “ always take his side”

Niall huffed “ there is no sides Harry, it’s your life.. He is worried about you” Harry looked at him and then raised his brow “ did he talk to you? “

“ no, but I know you and I know him. You are just always stubborn “

“ stubborn? What do you want me to do when he tells me my friend is a suspect Niall? “

Niall huffed “ he didn’t say that. It is his job Harry, he knows what he is doing”

Harry threw the Wisk down and glared at Niall “ what are you doing? “

Niall took a deep breath “ nothing “. 

Harry “ then don’t defend him, it has been two weeks and he didn’t even tried to give me a call”

Niall nodded “ I am not, I am just trying.-“

“don’t try to do anything “ Harry interrupted him, Niall just nodded his head and decided to stop talking.

Harry finished the breakfast and Niall helped him, the air was tensed at the start but Niall managed to change that and lightened Harry's mood. Harry started to laugh and talk again.

Harry and Niall were drinking their tea at the living when Harry asked “ have you seen him lately? “

Niall shook his head “ not since the funeral”

Harry nodded “ I was trying to call him but he is not answering me”

Niall nodded “ neither me.. I think he is grieving”

“ then we should not leave him alone”

Niall raised his head and looked at harry “ what do you mean? “

“ we should visit him”

Niall frowned “ but Louis.-“

“is not here, is he? “

Niall huffed , he knew what Harry was thinking and he knew he had no clue how to stop him “ no”

Harry stood up “ fine, I will go an get dressed”

****  
It was weird to find Stan’s House door was opened, Harry and Niall entered the house and they were hit by the awful smell.

Harry said covering his nose “ how does he live here? “

Niall was covering his nose too “I don’t know, I thought he fixed that”

Harry called Stan’s name but there was no answer   
“ what is this smell anyway? “ Harry asked

Niall looked around “ I have no idea. All I know that his house was soaked with water”

Harry called again, then he said “ I will check the basement, you check upstairs”

Niall looked at harry worriedly, but eventually he nodded and walked away. 

Harry walked to the basement, and the smell was getting worse and worse with every step he was taking.

He was climbing down stairs and he had to stop to catch his breath. He wanted to return but he heard some noises coming from down so he had to go on. 

Once he was down the place was dark, he tried to find his way so he can open the lamp, but once he did and turned on the light he was frozen, he felt the blood stopped running in his veins and he knew this was a big mistake.

The whole walls were covered with paintings, not any painting, people who were tortured and killed paintings. 

Harry was watching them one by one and he felt his stomach twisted and he was this close from vomiting.

Then his leg glued to the ground. He was looking at a painting of a sleeping man with blue lips and long curls. He was in front of his own painting.

“ what are you doing here? “ a voice from behind. 

Harry knew the voice,Stan. he turned slowly and he faced Stan who was covered by blood now

Niall??

Stan said “ I didn't know you were this stupid Harry ”

Harry whispered and stepped back“ it was you? “

Stan smiled widely “ oops”

Harry was looking at him with eyes full of dread, how was he this stupid, he knew that Stan was talented, he hid this info from Louis when he felt Louis was already suspecting him.

Stan laughed “ look at you”

Harry pointed at the wall“ what... What is this? “

Stan was looking at the painting and he was grinning “ those are my victims”

Harry “ why me? “

Stan looked at him “ trust me, you weren’t involved, I love you harry I love you very much. It is  
Louis who i am after .. I want him to suffer”

“ why? “ Harry was close to tears, there was no way out. There was no way he would come out of this alive. Yes he was stupid and yes Louis had every right to suspect Stan. 

“ he is so smart, he will know it’s me sooner or later”

Harry was crying now “ you killed Emily? “

Stan shook his head “ that was hard.. But she found out and I had to do something about it. She was going to expose me.. I still have two victims yet”

He was looking at the wall behind Harry, Harry looked too and there was two paintings, his and Gigi’s.

Harry looked at his hand and it was twitching now, Harry cried because he knew what was going to happen. He was going to have a siezure and no one could save him. Then he fell down convulsing hard on the ground while Stan was watching him smiling.


	11. Chapter 11

Louis hadn’t left his office for two days, so as Liam, Zayn was leaving them at night and then he returned first thing in the morning. They wanted to end this case so they were studying everything from the start, trying to link the lines together and find the missing piece, trying to find the killer.

It was still early morning when Louis’s phone went off, he was still in the office drinking his morning coffee  
He looked at his phone and he frowned, Gemma was calling early morning, then he had the weird feeling in his heart, he felt it had to be something about Harry

“ good morning Gemma” he started

“ Louis, hello” Gemma answered with a worried voice

“is everything okay? Is harry okay? “ Louis asked immediately 

“shit. So you don’t know where he is? “

Louis left his seat, heart beating fast, he couldn’t remain still “ what do you mean? Isn’t he home? “

“no” then her voice cracked “ I don’t know where he is”

Louis tried to have a deep breath, he tried not to panic “ okay, when did he leave? “

“ I don’t know Louis, we weren’t here yesterday, we had to go back to Cheshire”

“you left him alone? “ he asked but he felt guilty, he wasn’t the one to judge. 

“ yes Louis, we had to. But he said he will call Niall and he texted me telling me Niall was with him.. But I have been trying to call them since last night and I got nothing. I thought they were sleeping but no one is here”

Louis was listening carefully, still trying not to panic. 

Liam entered the office but when he saw Louis this way he froze in his place

“ have you checked Niall’s? “ he asked afraid to hear the answer. 

“ I did, no one was there. His house wasn’t even locked” she said frantically

Louis frowned deeper “ okay, calm down. I am sure he is okay somewhere”

“ I thought he was with you, and you finally fixed things up” She said crying now. 

“ Gem. Don’t cry please. I will look for him. Just stay by your phone” Louis was trying to calm her down but he was on the verge of losing his mind

Liam was staring at Louis, Gemma said crying  
“ do you think he is hurt? Do you think he had a seizure alone outside or worse? “

Louis shook his head closing his eyes to remain calm or to shake the shape of harry convulsing at the street alone “ I am sure he is fine. If he’s admitted to any hospital, they will give us call so don’t worry I will look for him”

Then Zayn entered the office, and then he looked between Louis and Liam, Louis saw Liam whispering to Zayn and he was sure what he was telling him

“ I am so scared Louis, my heart hurts I know there is something wrong” Gemma was still crying 

“no, he is fine. Stop crying and wait for the call. I have to go”

He ended the call because he couldn’t stand listening to any bad ideas, he was worried enough and right now he felt he couldn't breath

“ what is happening? “ it was Zayn

He said without looking at them, eyes still fixed on the phone he was looking for a specific number but his hand was shaking and his vision got blurred. Harry was hurt, Harry wasn’t okay, he didn’t know how he knew it but he was sure

“ it’s Gemma, she says she can’t find Harry”

Zayn narrowed his eyes “ okay what do you want us to do? “

Louis shook his head, pressed his mouth shut, he needed a moment, just a moment to breath, a moment so he could think again. It happened before, Harry was outside and he had a seizure, alone. He was admitted to the hospital and they called Louis. Louis didn’t have the time to worry back then because Before he knew he got the hospital phone call. But this time it was different, Harry wasn’t okay, just had a failed surgery, his fits were more frequent and more severe. Plus there was a bloody lunatic who was threatening him.

Louis felt a hand on his shoulder “ breath louis” it was Liam

Louis opened his eyes, he saw the concerns looks on Liam and Zayn, he then took a deep breath and then he said “ I will call my sisters, someone call Niall’s family”

Liam nodded “ I am on it”

Zayn “ I will call Gigi”

Louis nodded and then he finally found Lottie’s number, he pressed dialled immediately and he forgot to breath, once Lottie answered Louis gasped

“ Louis, are you okay? “ she said when she heard his breathing “ are you okay, is harry okay? “

Louis then closed his eyes, she didn't know anything and he didn’t want to worry her

“ yeah, yeah I am okay, I was asking about you guys, is everything okay? “ he said

Lottie sounded suspicious when she answered “ yeah, we are fine. Are you sure you are two okay? Is he fine? Did something happened again? “

Louis “ no, no lotts. We are okay” then Zayn entered the room, when their eyes met Zayn shook his head

“ listen I gotta go now, I will call you later”

He ended the call immediately, and he looked at Zayn “ she doesn’t know anything “

Then Liam entered too “ no one heard from Niall, his mom is worried too”

“ what does this mean? “ Louis snapped

“ calm down, we need to think clearly now” Liam said

Louis shook his head “ it’s him, he has them” Louis said  
Zayn “ no, what about the protection we put? “

Louis shook his head “ Harry found out about them and he made a big fight and insisted they should leave”

“you removed them? “ Liam asked

“no, but two days ago I had to move them, just to calm harry down”

“ fuck” zayn murmured

“ I know.. “ Louis said rubbing his face angrily “ it’s a mistake, that was a mistake I need to.. Fuck I have to find him”

Zayn “ have anyone looked at your house? “

“ what? “ Louis asked

“yes, your house. Maybe he returned home. Maybe he missed you or something “ Louis nodded “ yes, yes” he said frantically, he wanted to believe this.

He took his keys, and he grasped his jacket and ran outside following by his friends Liam and Zayn.  
*****  
Louis ran inside his house leaving the door for his friends, he was calling Harry frantically, his worst idea was Harry had a seizure alone and he was passing out unconscious on the floor since last night.

He rushed to the kitchen followed by the living room calling Harry hysterically, but no one answered.

He looked between his friends and then he ran upstairs followed by Liam while Zayn remained downstairs huffing in frustration. He was worried sick and he was sure there was something wrong.

He knew Harry was in danger and not knowing his place was killing him.

He took few steps back to the living and then he froze. 

On the centre coffee table were a video camera and a paper  
It says (play me)

Zayn took the camera and he fixed it to the TV hearing Louis still calling for Harry’s name madly

Once the video started, it showed Stan’s face. Zayn paused the video panicking, he called yelling for  
Louis and Liam. He heard them running downstairs and then he heard gasping

“ play it on” Louis said almost whispering

Zayn was a shaking hand pressed play and the video started

It showed Stan standing at the middle of a place, the Camera focused on him and he was smiling widely  
“ hello agents.. If you watching this. That means congratulations, this is the end”

Then he laughed “ although there has been some changes in my plan. About my new victim I mean, I wanted to kill the blond first” then he grabbed the camera and showed Gigi’s painting and Zayn gasped loudly "what the fuck" 

“ but.. “ then he froze the camera on Harry’s painting instead “ I had to end it”

Louis couldn’t stand any longer, he felt his leg betrayed him so he sat on the chair hand, he couldn’t blink he was watching his TV screen with eyes full of dread

“ I didn’t want to hurt him Louis trust me. But I have to”

Then he showed his face “ when you find them, I will be gone so far away, and I will make sure no one will find me” then he smiled “ but I will be back. When you feel you are finally safe. When you forget about me. It is when I come back”

He took a deep breath “ he is still alive, for now.. You just hurry up, I don’t know what time is it. But I want you to remember, when I left him.. He was alive”

Then again he pointed his camera away from his face and it showed Harry, lying on the ground not moving, blue lips, closed eyes, blue bruise around his nick.

Just like the painting

Louis wasn’t breathing right now, he couldn’t breath, he felt like the world was spinning and it couldn’t be true

“ and oh.. I killed the Irish ” Then the video was off.

Then silence. 

“ what is this place? “ Zayn said gasping for air 

Liam didn’t talk and Louis was still staring at the black screen now

“ is it his house? “ Zayn asked

Louis shook his head “ no, I sent Liam five days ago with a warning to search the house”

Liam cursed and looked down, but Louis frowned and looked at him “ please, tell me you went”

Liam didn’t talk, Louis stood up now his whole body was shaking “ tell me” he yelled

Liam flinched but he shook his head “ I didn’t.. I thought you were over reacting. I mean we went there two weeks ago”

Louis didn’t think twice, he ran outside to Stan’s house, to rescue Harry, to save Harry.

****  
Present day, 

Louis was sleeping on his couch when his door was banging and the doorbell was ringing madly.

He opened his eyes and then he frowned, he sat in the couch and he looked at his phone it, was 7 am. who would visit him at this time, who would visit him anyway.

Lazily he walked to the door, and he opened it, then he tensed

“ Gemma? “

She was looking at him smiling “ did I wake you? “

He frowned “ what are you doing here? “

She raised a brow “ will we talk at the door.. You know it’s still my brother’s house” 

then she pushed him softly and entered the house. 

Louis had to close the door and took moment to breath. He wasn’t ready for Gemma, he wasn’t ready for anything from the past

He turned to face her but she was looking at him with wide eyes “ What have you done to the place? “

He looked down, he didn’t want to hear that lecture again from Gemma this time

“ he will be mad” she said looking around, but she missed the way he flinched while mentioning his  
name

“ I need a drink to wipe this image from my head. Strong drink” she said heading to the kitchen. 

He took deep breath and then be followed her, when he entered the kitchen he saw her pouring some liquor that he had no idea where did she bring it from, two glasses were in front of her

“ you haven’t found his secret place yet, maybe he won’t be that upset”

Then she gave him his glass and took a large gulp and moaned “ umm amazing “

Louis was watching her and then he huffed “ why are you here? “

She looked at him “ I missed my brother’s husband, we are family lou, he misses you too”

“ stop” Louis said squeezing the glass in his hands, gritting on his teeth “ stop, please” he then whispered. 

She was looking at him for a moment then she said looking away from him and heading to sit on the table “ you stopped visiting him”

Louis didn’t talk

“ he is still alive, you know” she said but with an anger tune “ did you forget about him? Did you have enough? “  
Then she looked at him with asking eyes. 

He snorted and then he took a large gulp of his drink. He didn’t answer her, she already knew the answer anyway. 

Gemma left her seat and she walked towards him and then suddenly she slapped him on his face hard that he dropped his glass on the floor

Louis didn’t even flinch, he didn’t look at her, and the next thing she threw herself on him hugging tightly. 

She was crying now, he sighed and then he wrapped his free hands around her and hugged back. 

“ don’t give up please” she cried

Louis was crying now too “ I can’t “

“ it’s not your fault. Please stop blaming yourself, stop blaming your friends”

Then she pulled away “ it has been a year Louis, you came to see him once, please “

Louis wiped his tears and cried again “ I can’t see him this way Gemma, it hurts. It’s my fault”

“no”

“yes.. I couldn’t protect him, I should have protected him”

Gemma closed her eyes and the tears fall freely now “ no”

Louis “ it was my fault”

Then Gemma said wiping her tears “ the doctors says there has been a great progress lately”

Louis snapped his head up to her “ did he? “

“no” she shook her head, “ please come to see him, sometimes he responds to us, a finger twitch..  
Two months ago he opened his eyes and then he smiled to mom and back again to his sleep”

Louis looked down again “ Anne hates me”

Gemma frowned “ mom is sad, but she doesn’t hate you”

Then she walked closer “ please, we need you to come and see him”

Louis didn’t move, then she said “ stop hurting yourself Louis.. We can’t lose both of you”

Louis looked at her, Gemma continued “ Liam and Zayn told me. Even Niall says you are not answering his phone”

Louis shut his eyes tightly when she mentioned Niall  
“ he is getting better, I mean Niall”

Louis shook his head “ is he going to walk again? “

Gemma huffed still staring at Louis, then he said “ then he won’t be better”

he took a deep breath “ I can’t do this Gemma, I can’t see him lying on his bed not moving, I can’t see him like this because if I did, it will remind me of what a failure i am”

“you are not”

He yelled “ he ran away, he fucking ran away. He stabbed Niall, he can’t walk again. he killed  
Harry.. “ then he stopped talking

Gemma walked away, but tears filled her eyes “ he is alive... You are fucking idiot, your husband is alive and he needs you. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop feeling you are such a failure and do your job”

“what job? “ he yelled back

She yelled “ be there for him. He does not deserve to be forgotten”

Louis closed his eyes, then he heard her moving and then he heard the sound of door slammed.

Louis opened his eyes and he took a deep breath, he walked out of the kitchen and he walked to his room.

He then lied down on the bed, he turned on his side closing his eyes then he heard

“she has a point, I really miss you”

He opened his eyes and Harry was lying beside him looking at him smiling

“ leave me alone” Louis said crying

Harry sighed and then said “ I need you, please”

Louis pressed his eyes shut tightly and he was crying hard now, he whispered loud “go, away, you are not real. Go away, you are not real. Go away, you are not real”

He opened his eyes again and he found himself alone on the bed, he flipped on his back and he cried harder covering his eyes by his hand. He cried.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter

Louis was standing outside the building,he was looking at the entrance with a blank stare. He remembered last time he was here, he had a panic attack that knocked him down for a full day. He remembered how much he cried that day and he still remembered how his heart actually hurt.

It was a year ago and ever since he took an oath, he would never come back here because he simply couldn’t. He couldn’t see harry in this state, he couldn’t believe his eyes and every time he thought about it his heart hurt that he literally couldn’t breath.

It took him three days, then he found himself dragged to the same place he was standing, looking at the entrance, but he never did, he never entered the hospital again, he never saw Harry again. It was the nearest spot from Harry and yet he couldn’t let himself in.

“ shall I bring you the usual? “ asked the man who owned a hot dog car that parked in front of the hospital.

Louis looked at the man and shook his head “ no, not tonight”

The man looked at the entrance “ you’re finally getting in then”

Louis took a deep breath and nodded

“ a lover? “

Louis smiled and looked at the man “ more than a lover”

Then man smiled wide “ I hope she is alright “

Louis looked again at the entrance “ he. I hope he is okay”

The man patted his shoulder “ so go on, what are you wanting for? “

Louis looked down “ I am scared”

The man sighed “ love doesn’t scare young man, go”  
Louis nodded and he started to walk slowly.

He actually didn’t stop walking until he was right in front of Harry’s room. He froze

His hand was shaking horribly and he felt again he was unable to breath

“ Louis? Is that you? “

Louis gasped, he knew the voice. He looked behind him and he saw Niall on his wheelchair smiling widely as ever “ oh my God, it is you”

Louis didn’t know what to say, he just rushed and hugged Niall really tight

“ easy man, easy” Niall rubbed his back “ hay, stop crying now”

Louis didn’t realise he was crying, he pulled away and he looked at Niall “ I am so sorry”

Niall was still smiling “ I forgave you long time ago”

Louis sighed and wiped his tears away, Niall “ I haven’t seen you since forever, how are you doing?  
“

Louis only shrugged, Niall “not so good I see. Are you at least seeing the guys? “

“ I see Zayn” he answered

Niall smiled “ still no Liam"

“ Niall, I don’t wanna talk about it”

“ alright, alright ” Niall raised his hands in surrender

“ have you entered yet? “ Niall asked and Louis looked again at the closed door, he shook his head

Niall smiled “ okay, you go... I will see him tomorrow”

Louis looked at him “ are you sure? “

Niall nodded “ I was going to read for him anyway.. But I guess he will happy to hear your voice”

Louis nodded, Niall “ go Louis. We will talk later”

Louis nodded and slowly he reached his hand and opened the door. He took a few steps inside and then he saw him.

He was just sleeping.

Louis closed the door behind him and leaned on it taking a moment to watch Harry. He was the same, he looked better than last time, way better, no blue bruises or cuts. Still pale but he lookef better. His hair bandana was fixed on his head, his favourite red one, it must was Gemma who put it, his hair was longer and he looked thinner. But he was still gorgeous as usual.

Louis walked towards him and he sat by his bed. He slowly reached his hand to touch him. To touch his face, his lips and then he said “ hi Harry” his voice was awful, scratchy and full of suppressed sobs

“ I miss you” he said while tears were running down his face

He then touched his hand and by his other hand he played with his hair “ I can’t believe I hadn’t seen you for all this long but I couldn’t harry.. “

He then kissed his cheeks and forehead “ I miss you so much”

He then wiped his tears with his hands “ I am so sorry.. I am sorry Harry. I will never forgive myself.  
Never”

Then he took a deep breath, and looked at harry again, he shook his head standing “ I can’t do this, oh my God I can’t “

He couldn’t breath, he was suffocating, he was sobbing and he knew he had to leave the place right now.

So he did. He ran out of the room, and ran through the corridors, he ran out of the hospital non stop, gasping for air crying his eyes out. Once he was outside he leaned on his knee trying to breath he was whispering “sorry” for himself, for Harry, for his family.

He was crying and he felt the air left his lungs, he was dizzy and he was swaying. He felt sweats beads were running down his forehead and he started to see black dots at the corner of his eyes. Then he fell on the ground. He closed his eyes.

While Harry opened his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you loved it
> 
> Part two is coming soon


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